Vacation and "The Schedule"

As you probably know there are millions of ideas on scheduling your baby - millions.  And somewhere in all that research and literature you're supposed to find your own way for what is right for you and your child.  I have had the luxury of not working, which has in turn given me the chance to be pretty loose on "the schedule." I adhere to the baby-lead schedule philosophy and have created our routine around Raymond rather than creating a routine for him.  I also believe that the security that a routine provides babies can be achieved just in the pattern of the day - not the exact timing. 

The evolution of our schedule has gone something like this -

Newborn: Sleep when baby sleeps, nurse baby on demand, sleep, no sleep, sleep
1-4 Months: 5:30 am wake up, nurse, play, ... sleep ... only real change is that naps became more regular ... and sleeping at least 6 hours at a time at night
5-6 Months: Wake up around 7 or 8, nurse on demand, play play play, nap at 10 ish, "solid" meal at noonish, play play play, nap at 2ish, play - nurse - play - nurse - play OR go to daycare at gym, eat rice cereal at 6 ish, bath, nurse, play, reading time, nurse, sleep by 8:30/9:00

Last week we went to the beach with almost all of Morgan's maternal family - there were approx 25 of us there for the week and it was a serious challenge to the routine.  All of my theory that not being too strict on the schedule would enable us to go on trips/ have changes more easily is, it turns out, total bullshit. 

Breaking up the routine for the family gathering made more work and a lot more frustration for Morgan, Raymond and me.  This is what I learned: (1) There is no such thing as vacation if you're a mom. (2) Dads still find time to do all of their fun vacation activities while mom takes care of the baby.  (3) The family expects you and the baby to be perky, adorable and fun on demand based on what their schedule is. 

I did have lots of loving hands to help with Raymond and over the course of a week I was able to go to the beach three times, once just to jump in, and twice for about an hour to lay out and relax.  Morgan, Raymond and  I went down together twice, the first time Raymond hated it so much I had to come back and take care of him right away while Morgan swam and the second time was perfect, we all sat in the surf and played with the sand and water for a while.  I never got to go swimming in the ocean with Morgan. 

And somewhere in the planning for this vacation I assumed that Morgan would pick up a lot of what I normally do with Raymond - and we would have fun doing it together or I would have a break.  And he tried, he did, but plain and simple, Raymond is my full time job and Morgan can't just take it on or step in like that.  And maybe I shouldn't expect him to - I honestly don't know.  By the end of beach week I learned a lot about what my expectations should be when traveling with Raymond.  Next time I will be better prepared emotionally for what to expect instead of having pipe dreams about relaxing like a non-mom.  Those days are behind me. 

For the past week I have struggled to get us back into any kind of pattern and am totally exhausted - the fact that Raymond has teeth breaking through left and right isn't helping - but I have great hopes that come Monday he'll be more settled into being home and I'll be able to get back to the gym and into having some moments for myself.  Those moments are very important and I now know why many moms cling to "the schedule."