The Giving Tree

One of my favorite parts of being a mom has been rediscovering toys, games and stories. The classic story, The Giving Tree, made me tear up the first time I read it with Raymond as it made me think of my mom and the kind of parent I hope to be. Maybe that is just because I am lucky to have an AMAZING mother.


You remember, the tree that gave the boy everything throughout all the different parts of his life to make him happy until there was nothing left but the stump … and then the boy comes back as an old man and rests by sitting on the stump. It is a really great story, although there is a part of me that thinks the boy is selfish and shouldn’t take from the tree anymore and a part of me that thinks the tree would be doing the boy a favor to say no.

I find myself in a crossroads between being the child and the tree these days. Most recently I faced the seemingly harsh reality that we do not have a stay at home grandmother who can take care of Raymond when we go to a crazy New Year’s Eve party on the other side of the country or otherwise plan travel. Both of our moms work, and we certainly benefit from their labors – last minute emergency vet visits, the way too expensive travel crib which is the only way Raymond will sleep on the road, our furniture, our home, a “hand me down” car. The working grandmothers give – give –give all the time. We are very blessed.

And yet here I am the little boy saddened that I can’t leave my baby and go to the party. And here I am the mother who wants to be with her son to give him a happy New Years Eve … filled with breast milk and mommy’s love.

I think it is time for me to let go of my neediness and accept my new role as the giver. I don’t want to whittle my mother or mother in law down to a stump by taking all the time. We need to give too --- all support each other. Most importantly I need to take care of my son and husband. As we plan the holiday season it is clear that the best way to do that is to take care of Raymond at home and send Morgan off to ring in the New Year with our friends.

Ah, the evolution into motherhood continues …