I am certain that this has come across through my various blog posts, but I would like to point out a very real feeling that I have experienced through being at home: The Stay at Home Mom Blues. Having a child and having the time to be with him full time has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Morgan has given me a great gift by providing the support for me to be at home with Raymond. But alas, like any good American, I want more - and have found myself in funk after funk. I think part of this funkiness is due to feeling a lack of control or autonomy in my life. I also feel incredible guilty for not contributing financially. I have been totally torn up trying to find the path out of this self-centered condition so that I can embrace my time with Raymond more.
Morgan was not able to go to a dear friend's bachelor party the other weekend because we couldn't afford it. Seeing his disappointment over missing this occasion made me realize more than ever how much he has given up to support and sustain this new phase in our life together. I was not able to figure out a way to get him to Texas for the party, but I did find the motivation to check out some part time jobs and low and behold, my dream part time position at the top of the first job board I reviewed (after receiving the direction from a good friend).
I sent off my resume and cover letter the next day and within twenty four hours I had an interview and within a week I had the job. YAY! YAY! YAY! During each step of the interview process the job became more and more perfect as I learned about the organization, first it was just part time, then it was part time work from home, then my new boss told me she is a huge believer in breast feeding and wanted me to take time whenever needed to make sure I was able to breast feed as much as Raymond needed... it just keeps getting better.
I am making far below what someone with my education and experience should, but I couldn't be any happier for all the reasons listed above.
Most importantly I have appreciated every moment with Raymond so much more as a result of having this job - I think we have achieved attachment and looking forward to having our mother/child relationship grow into a new phase.
Goodbye Stay at Home Mom Blues!
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