May was a very exciting month for us to start adventuring with Thriller! Here are some highlights:
May 29 - 31, 2009: Julie & Brendan's Wedding Weekend! We started at Whispering Pines conference center on Friday and ended at Fenway Park seeing Phish on Sunday!
May 21 - 24, 2009: Joe & Trish visited San Francisco when we learned we were expecting! It was a very exciting week ~ Trish got the first baby present in right away!
Several people have asked us to explain why we decided to call the baby Thriller. Morgan and I decided early on that we did not want to know the sex of the baby, which eliminated the ability for early name use or he/she references. A pet name was in order so we could stop referring to "the baby" or "it" all of the time.
There are a few circumstances that brought us to Thriller, and combined that might make sense to other people.
(1) There was a long standing joke when we were wedding planning that the groom and his groomsmen would approach the wedding tree doing the Thriller dance. I did not think this joke was very funny, however, it has stayed in the back of my mind. This spring a viral video went into circulation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0) showing a wedding party dancing down the aisle. The original link I received with this video had a message about not taking life way to seriously, and how beautiful an event can be in simple playfulness. As we learned that we were pregnant, that we were moving and that our life was changing very quickly the idea of not taking life to seriously stayed with me, and honestly kept my head up some of the time. As well as causing me to think back on "what if" Morgan and the groomsmen had approached our wedding tree doing the Thriller dance. It might have been pretty fantastic, but I wasn't even open to joking about it. No fun Tappan.
(2) Surprise Pregnancy! Hands down getting pregnant has been the best thing that ever happened to us and we couldn't be happier. We are Thrilled! But there have also been some scary moments along the way and I think there will continue to be - it is just part of it. Hopefully Thriller will have a sense of humor and understand the nickname.
(3) The death of the King of Pop, Michael Jackson: We are children of the 80s, and grew up on MJ - Thriller is arguably one of his greatest contributions to pop music and our childhood. Whenever Thriller comes on the radio or through the turntable you are certain to find us on the dance floor.
Somewhere in the mix of these three points it occurred to me that maybe we should call the baby "Thriller" rather than "it." I suggested the nickname to Morgan before we went to bed one night and by the next morning the name was in full effect. Friends and family either totally love it or give us a weird look. For all those who think its weird, you shouldn't take life so seriously!
Its playful, it fits and I have a feeling that it might stick in certain circles. I kind of hope it does as Morgan and I have totally bonded with our little Thriller.
As Morgan and I have prepared for having the baby it has been clear that the birthing process is very important to us.Along the way, however, we have crossed paths with many loved ones who are challenged by our interest in how we give birth to Little Thriller.The most common statement we have heard, from all generations, is that is does not matter how it happens as long as we have a healthy baby and a healthy mom when it is all said and done.How do you respond to this statement?To family members, best friends, new moms, etc who have generations of experience birthing babies and trusted completely in their doctors and hospitals?
It is a touchy subject, as we do not want to reject their wisdom and appreciate their concerns.When we respond with statistics, research and information we try to avoid making it sound judgmental.We do not want to have a natural birth just to be good liberals. We do not just want to be in a room decorated like a bedroom just to be more comfortable.
We want to have a natural birth in a positive environment because it is safer for the baby, safer for the mom and a more positive experience for the early development of the child.We want to be educated on the birthing process and not go into birth blindly because the medical industry is FAILING in the United States.For the past twenty (plus) years the infant mortality rate in the United States has ranked in the bottom three of all developed countries. We want to look at what other countries are doing RIGHT and use those procedures and tactics in our birth.We want information to protect ourselves and our child.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people who are clearly aware that hospitals, doctors, pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies and malpractice lawsuits have collectively made dirty business out of healthcare suddenly forget the fact that having a baby in the hospital is also a revenue generating procedure.Mothers across the country are given unnecessary drugs and procedures during childbirth to generate revenue and to protect liability.The benefit to the child?To the mother?
Plain and simple – just because there is a form of technology available does not make it necessary.It does, however, make good money for the hospital to use every available resource.
I know I do not want unnecessary invasive surgery ever … I do not want to be given unnecessary drugs ever … especially when I am going to have Thriller to take care of moments afterwards.
What I am sure of is that I have a right to choose medical care that I can trust.This is not an easy thing to do in this country. Laying down on your back and being pumped full of drugs is an incredibly ineffective way to deliver a baby.No other country in the world currently uses this positioning (which works against gravity and prevents the mother from optimal pelvic positioning) as the standard of care for delivery. We are WAY behind the times and our infant mortality rate and other statistics prove our inadequacy.
I do not mean to suggest that there are not high risk births when the fact that we have the technology and procedures to save lives is necessary and effective.Rather I believe, and research indicates, that invasive and dangerous tools are used as a matter of course rather than a matter of necessity.We want to be educated to know the difference.We want to work with someone we trust to know the difference.
Luckily some hospitals and doctors in the United States are also recognizing the failure of birthing in the United States and doing some of the same research.As we are searching for the best OB/GYN, licensed midwife and Birthing Center in the Raleigh area it is a challenge to find the doctors, midwives and facilities that can provide us with care we trust.In the back of my mind I keep thinking that we could escape the industry and go to Mendocino where we know a great midwife or to The Farm in Tennessee where the best Birthing Center in the country exists under the guidance of acclaimed midwife Ina May Gaskin.However, I cannot bring myself to do something so drastic as I fear it would worry and hurt our families.
The first step is to find a caregiver who is educated.Next to find a facility where I am not immobilized with cords and IVs hanging off of my body.Ideally we need to find a place where I can eat, move around, have control of the environment (lights, music, etc) and am given time to labor and not be rushed into inducement or cesarean simply because of impatience.
What I need is to listen and trust my body.I need a doctor/midwife team to do the same.I need to not be categorized into a procedural system, but rather I need to be given a chance to have my baby without drugs or intervention so I will have the shortest possible recovery time to be the best mother I can be right away.
The birthing process does matter to us.And we think it should.
We were recently in Rosemary Beach, Florida for Ashley & Thomas' AMAZING wedding. We danced all night on Friday and Saturday to every one's favorite wedding weekend tunes. Throughout the weekend, several people came up to us and said that our baby is going to come out dancing! Considering our love for music, I certainly hope this will come true.
This week we went to go see Widespread Panic and the Allman Brothers at Walnut Creek in Raleigh. Little Thriller decided to join us as a dancing partner, and was grooving to the music all night long. This was also the first time I could see the movement through my shirt as opposed to simply feeling the movement from the inside. It was really exciting!
As we looked around the venue and saw all the families with their kids at the show, it seemed so right to be on the path to having our own child to share music with. In the event that Thriller follows in his/her parent's footsteps as a music lover, I thought I should start to keep track of the shows the baby has seen since conception.
May 12th (or 13th?): Allman Brothers @ The Fox Theater in Oakland, CA with Ian and Marla May 20th: The Decemberists @ The Fox Theater in Oakland, CA with HeadCount May 22nd: Nine Inch Nails & Janes Addiction @ Shoreline in Mountain View, CA with HeadCount May 31st: Phish @ Fenway Park in Boston, MA as a continuation of Julie & Brendan's wonderful wedding weekend June 20th & 21st: Phish @ Alpine Valley in East Troy, WI with Phil, several dear Sewanne Boys and San Francisco crew July 5th - 7th: High Sierra Music Festival with Morgan, Carol, Ian and Marla - plus many more friends. Musical highlights include Leftover Salmon, Umphree's McGee, Del McCoury, The Disco Biscuits, The Slip, Surprise Me Mr. Davis and so much more! July 24th: The New Deal @ The Independent in San Francisco, CA with Basel and Lexy August 5th: Phish @ Shoreline in Mountain View, CA via a crazy Mexican Party Bus and home with Cas and Morgan August 15th: Phish @ Merriweather Post in Columbia, MD with Phil, Morgan and Bailey (a family affair to celebrate our cross country journey and Morgan's birthday) October 11th: Widespread Panic & The Allman Brothers @ Walnut Creek in Raleigh, CA with Morgan and Uncle Joe.
Hopefully we'll add some more to this list very soon!
Hello Family and Friends! Morgan and I have decided to jump on the technology train and have a "Thriller News Filler" for our friends and family around the world. We hope that you will enjoy our commentary, stories, and thoughts! Check in often.
I was recently chatting with a friend, who mentioned to me that in the past 6 months we have been through a lot: I completed my MBA, we got pregnant, Morgan got promoted and transferred to the East Coast, we moved across the country and we are currently buying a house. It has been a worldwind, to say the least, but also a very exciting time.
I am currently 25 weeks, and Baby Vickery ("Thriller") is doing very well. We have been nomadic for the past 2 months after leaving our beloved San Francisco in August. Thriller has been across the country, throughout the South, to concerts, weddings, family reunions, swimming in blue oceans and cool mountain swimming holes. This kid has already had a lifetime of experiences from the womb ... something we hope to keep going throughout Thriller's life.
Currently we are staying at Morgan's family vacation home in Wachapreague, a small fishing village on the Eastern Shore of Virginia. We have been using this bit of paradise as our "refueling station" while we finalize a home in Raleigh, North Carolina. We hope to close on our first home next week and start setting up a permanent home for Thriller just in time for my last trimester.
Cooper and Ophelia (our dog and kitty) have also been adjusting relatively well. They are both very tuned into the fact that we are expecting, and have become extremely protective of me. Both animals have taken to wrapping themselves around my ever growing belly when I am sleeping to be close to the baby. They have been so wonderful and troopers throughout the move! We can't wait for them to settle into our new home as they deserve some pleasant consistency as well.
Keep your fingers crossed that we do close next week to start the next phase of our journey!
