100% Mom

I haven't had a steady job since May of 2008.  Wow.  That is crazy. Previously I had worked without a break from age 14 to 27.  To be fair, I was finishing business school until May of 2009.  Between December 2008 and May of 2009 I applied for over a hundred jobs in the Bay Area and got ONE call back for a pyramid scheme.  I did some consulting work and plan to do more.  And I have taken over the role of national Volunteer Coordinator for HeadCount - a volunteer job that I truly love and want to put more time into as it is.  But due to our move and my pregnancy I did not secure work before I had Raymond.  My plan was to wait until he was 5 or 6 months and get a job because I love to work, have a new MBA to use and I need to start paying back my over $100,000 in student loans.  But, as time has passed it has become more and more evident that I want to be with my child.  Now I want to stay at home until he is a year and work on trying to build up more consulting work. 

Morgan has supported me in so many ways - first to quit working in the first place so I could focus on school, which was amazing.  Then to move across the country and take a "promotion" even though it wasn't the best fit for him professionally to give us a better life.  After he quit his job in late April and I started frantically applying for new jobs in North Carolina to tell me not to - as he wants Raymond to have his mommy and that he would find work to support us comfortably so I could be at home as long as I want.  This week Morgan started his new job, which does afford us that comfort (less my student loans which are just going to have to be deferred for a little bit longer). 

Not to mention the fact that because of his work from home status with SunPower and then brief period of unemployment I have really had a partner in parenting.  Getting up early, letting me sleep in, playing with Raymond so I could take a bath and relax or run errands.  Treating me to Saturday morning tennis lessons so I could get out of the house for some real "me" time once a week. He has done it all.  I am spoiled.  Totally spoiled. 

This week, with Morgan's new work routine, I am 100% mommy all day long.  It surprises me that my arms are sore as I felt like I had Raymond most of the time anyway.  And, I have to admit that while I am seriously missing Morgan during the day, I am loving the alone time with Raymond.  Focusing completely on him rather than sharing him with Morgan is awesome.  I feel so in tune with all his little smiles and cuddles and play time.  I feel like I have gone from simply being the food and comfort source to being the playmate too.  I am seeing all the developmental and emotional LEAPS again. I am so blessed to have this time and will continue to soak it up as long as I can.  I love being 100% mom, thank you Morgan for giving this time to me!