I took my baby to see Phish, twice.

Last week Morgan and I made a major step in the series of “firsts” in parenting.  We took Raymond to a two night Phish run in Alpharetta, GA.  A year ago I swore I’d never do it – but it made sense and worked out wonderfully! (Despite the crazy weather!!!) As soon as we made the last minute decision to go and take Raymond our friend Dave Vann’s photograph of a little girl holding a “Harpua” sign in the front row on her parent’s shoulders in Ohio stirred up a ton of Facebook chatter about parents taking their kids to shows.  As I read through the comments I realized I’d probably made most of them over the past 13 + years of seeing Phish and now I realize even more how ignorant most, if not all, of the negative folks are. 

And to be fair, the commentary about fans being too wasted to be around kids would have most likely applied to me until Fenway 2009 when I went to go see my first sober Phish show at 6 (or so) weeks pregnant.  On that day and throughout the rest of 2009 I developed a new relationship with the music.  I was actually listening to all of the notes – which was an amazing experience … especially during a year when the band seemed like they were the most focused on hitting all of the notes.  In 2010 we did a little southern run but I was in no way shape or form prepared to take him to see Phish. Luckily for all 4 of those shows we were able to rely on friends and family to babysit – for what I consider to be the first family friendly Phish run (seriously, how crazy can you get when you’re nursing and have to get up at 6:30/7:00 am with the baby!).

This year, however, we did not know until the last minute when Morgan was invited to a conference in Atlanta that we could make the Alpharetta run (the only shows we would be able to consider for the whole tour).  We had not budgeted for the trip so it was a stretch to say the least, but we found a super cheap hotel and made the best with what we had.  It seemed like a sign when his work came through – especially as Raymond’s godfather (who he had not met yet) would be in town for the shows … a baptism of sorts???

What were we supposed to do? Evolve into Phish with our child or not?  Find a random babysitter on craigslist or take Raymond to experience our favorite band?  Not go to see a band we love with friends we never get to see?  It was an obvious and natural decision.  Time to take the baby to see Phish.  And do it right. As I saw a fair amount of shows when I was pregnant I'd already started taking this step.  But it was still a leap in parenting as as Phish fans. 

I immediately got online and started researching the venue’s policies on strollers, child’s admission, etc.  Turns out that Encore Pavilion prides itself on being a family friendly venue and has a family restroom, offers a certificate for kids who are coming to their first shows … the list goes on.  Morgan and I started crafting a plan.  We would get in at doors, get the best flat spot on the lawn, we would trade off night for who stayed totally sober on Raymond duty … and that person would take Raymond home at set break.  In addition we had our AWESOME headphones to protect his ears given to use by good friends as soon as I found out I was pregnant … apparently they knew we’d eventually be crossing this bridge before we did. 

Of course, with the exception of having a responsible parent for each night, all of our planning went to shit once we got into show mode/groove mode.  The first night was PERFECT.  We got in later than we hoped, but were able to put our blanket down next to some of our friends’ friends who were also there with their two older children.  We had the perfect flat family friendly zone in the middle of the lawn next to the trees where the sound is great.  Raymond LOVED the music and the lights (Chris should have a light show just for kids!!!) and even kept his headphones on.  We had lots of support of good friends and parents around us.  I also learned that there are these amazing folks on tour who bring in kid’s supplies --- baby sized glow stick bracelets, giant pixie sticks --- and roam the lawn giving them to the kids to help them have a good time.  We even got free waters in the lot for Raymond … really awesome supportive vibe from the touring community to have our son there!  Morgan was on duty the first night and only once had to step out of our area for a few songs while some folks were smoking.   Otherwise Raymond danced the night away and fell asleep in his daddy’s arms during 2001.  He slept in the stroller with his headphones on until the end of the show and slept sounding through the night back at the hotel room.

Wednesday night was much more challenging, and I learned a lot about what I could have done better to prepare for the worst case scenario.  We got into the venue much later as we’d been waiting for the giant thunder storms to pass.  I added a towel, umbrella and change of clothes to the backpack and hoped for the best.    We laid the blanket out (maybe mistake #1) and it was immediately soaked through.  Once the show started it became very clear that in fact the whole lawn does not have great sound.  We moved down closer to the trees where we were the night before and just didn’t put the blanket out (mistake #2) then the winds picked back up and a branch fell off the tree onto the top of my head.  It wasn’t that big but it fell a long way and really hurt.  Obviously we had to get Raymond away from the falling branches right away. 

We found another spot on the lawn were finally getting into a groove when BAM the storm hit us.  I tried to cover the front of the stroller with the umbrella but the wind was too high and broke the umbrella.  I was determined to leave and not have Raymond out in the weather and we started to run into the plaza when BOOM the lighting started and we had to take cover in the pavilion.  They turned on all the lights, the music stopped (at an epic moment) and we took out stroller (against regulation) into the seats.  There was an empty VIP box where security let us (and another family with a stroller) set up camp for the next hour of thunder, lighting and ferocious rain.  I pulled on my fairly dry towel and wrapped it around Raymond --- who was waving his hands at the stage wanting the band to start back up the whole time!!! The venue was so amazing to give us a safe refuge --- but a total kicker is that as soon as I got the towel wrapped around Raymond security walked up to me and asked if I’d like to go backstage to keep him warm.  And I said no, I thought we were okay.  REALLY??? I got asked if I wanted to go backstage with Phish and I said NO?????????? Clearly my head was in another place. About this time there was a flood of water pouring off of the lawn and soaking our shoes in 4 or 5 inches of water. 

Once the rain seemed to let up we changed Raymond’s clothes but they were just fairly dry and both I am the stroller were soaked, giving us a pretty damp existence. And then the moment came.  The venue’s lights went out Kuroda’s lights came on and the band picked back up and rocked.  Seriously, the first set wasn’t really doing much for me but when they came back on stage it was a whole other story.  Raymond thought so too.  I don’t know that I have ever seen him have so much fun.  He was totally into the music, waiving his glow sticks and dancing away on my shoulders and in my arms (no way to put him down at all between the wet stroller and standing water).  He and the other little girl in our new found VIP box were holding hands and dancing while she was also on her mom’s shoulders and playing with balloons together.  It was amazing.  This total state of bliss lasted until about 10:30 when he got tired.  There was so much stimulation and dampness that he couldn’t just go to sleep like he did the night before.  He was a little in and out and I was ready to take him for about 30 minutes but there was still lighting and heavy rain.  Not to mention the fact that the lawn was empty and everyone was in the seats/breezeways making it impossible for me to get out.  For the most part I could distract him and cheer him up but when he was really done, about 11/11:15 he was pulling off his headphones and I couldn’t have that.  Morgan made a path and we forced our way out (apologies if I ran over your toes) and I took Raymond to the car in light rain.  He was settled into the car seat just as the sky opened back up and incredible lightning hit so close that it shook my car.  I did leave my husband and friends to find a ride back – but I knew they could handle it and we all knew that taking care of Raymond was the priority.

All of that drama with the weather was worth the hour/hour and a half that Raymond and I experienced true musical bliss together in our special baby VIP box.  I have transcended another experience with Phish – a new level of love for the band that I have shared with my baby boy, husband and friends.  I couldn’t be happier.  Will I take him to every show?  Probably not.  But when the time is right I know now not to hesitate or judge.  We’re just expanding our phamily memories together.  Many thanks to the friends, band, venue and community of fans that made it such a wonderful experience for us all.   

The Lake!

We enjoyed a long weekend at home here at the Vickery household, which was very nice and a bit overdue.  Why does life have to be so busy????????  On Monday we decided to go to Jordan Lake to swim for a nice family outing.  We had never been to Jordan Lake before (except driving through) and had no idea where we were going or what to expect. Or when we were going to go in the day. 

The lack of planning for this outing was very unlike Morgan (who is a hyper planner when it comes to outdoor activities) or me (who is a hyper planner all the time).  We printed out a map, filled up a couple of water bottles, tossed a backpack full of clothes for swimming or maybe hiking and the baby and the dog in the car and headed over.  

Raymond LOVED the trip.  We say on the beach and had no plan to force him into the water.  He sat and watched it for a while and played in the sand before standing and walking over to the edge of the water and inching himself in.  There was a bit of surf and I kept worrying that the waves would deter him but they didn’t!  He embraced every minute of it! 

Next time we’ll be better prepared with a life jacket, water toys, sand buckets etc … for honestly we had no idea what to expect from the location or from Raymond – no expectations turned out to be LOVELY and full of surprises.  Happy Memorial Day Lake Trip to US! 

And now I'm off to enroll him in swimming lessons.