In the world of information and modern medicine you would think that women and men everywhere would know about Group B Strep and its effect on pregnant women - more importantly its effect on delivery. But alas, this symptomless bacteria goes unmentioned in women's health education until you become pregnant. Then you start picking up on clues - mentions of what to expect in doctors visits, pregnancy books, childbirth education classes.
Today I know that 43% of women carry GBS in their vagina and/or anus. The bacteria is different than Strep Throat. It is not an STD or otherwise a transmittable bacteria - it is just something you pick up along the way that is consistently becoming more prevalent, or at least awareness has increased, in our society. For example, books published 10 years ago state that 1 in 4 women have it whereas yesterday I learned that the most current statistic is 43% of women carry it. And yes, I also learned that I have Group B Strep growing in my vagina.
It sounds terrible and gross, right? Actually not really gross? It is symptomless unless you have certain autoimmune diseases or are getting chemo - then it might become a problem in the everyday life of a woman.
But when you are having a baby it becomes a big damn deal, and so it should. The knowledge of GBS has identified the cause of many health problems with newborns, such as fever, breathing problems, seizures, limpness/stiffness, heart rate and blood pressure abnormalities, poor feeding, sepsis, pneumonia, meningitis and sometimes death.
So what does this mean?
Between 35 and 37 weeks you get tested for group B strep. They don't do it earlier because it is so easy to catch that they need to check at the very end. If you have it then you have to get an IV of antibiotics every 4 hours for approx 20 minutes throughout your labor. The bacteria grows so fast that they have to keep giving you antibiotics - but at least they no longer make you be on an IV the whole time. As a result, I now have to have a needle in my arm, something that we had hoped to avoid. This also means we have to go to the hospital a little earlier (we were going to wait until contractions were 3 minutes apart but now we have to do 5 minutes apart) and we have to stay in the hospital for approx 2 days so that the baby can be monitored to be sure they don't develop any complications from the bacteria. We had hoped to leave the hospital much earlier, but alas we will be there for a couple of days now to make sure Thriller is okay.
In Bradley they continuously tell you that Healthy Moms Have More Options - which is true - and now my options are limited by a bacteria that I did nothing to contract and didn't even know existed prior to being pregnant. In reality we are blessed to know what GBS is, know that I have it, and be in a place in the world where we can take preventative measures to protect Thriller from it. But I feel dirty and like I am already doing something that puts my child at risk so I feel terribly guilty too! I can only come to the conclusion that these feelings are the result of a lack of information about GBS. I think we should talk about it more and be more educated about the bacteria as a society rather than slipping it in like a dirty little secret that puts your unborn child at risk when you are pregnant.
I have to get over my disappointment in the diagnosis and move on - and likely this is a good exercise for me to go through prior to delivery as I am sure there will be other bumps in the road that deviate from our ideal birth plan. Needles, early admission, later discharge. Not that big of a deal, I can still move around, get in the tub, and generally do everything just as we have planned. And we have information to protect Thriller. That is what is most important.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Parent's Right to Choose?
(Preface: As I start to frame this blog entry in my mind, I KNOW that as compared to other countries around the world Morgan and I are extremely blessed in the technology and wide range of birthing options available to us in the United States. I just want to put that out there before I express my frustrations.)
I thought I was keenly aware of regulation of my body. I grew up in a pro-choice home, have an undergraduate concentration in Women's Studies and am very well versed on the history of regulation of women's bodies and sexuality by laws and social norms around the world. All of this background did not, however, prepare me for the laws, hospital regulations and variations of standards of care surrounding the birth process and having a child.
Over the course of my pregnancy I have lived in California, Virginia and North Carolina (where we are settled). We have been planning a natural childbirth from the start, but finding the location for our birth has presented complications along the way.
If we were still in California, I would be having a water birth at home with a midwife. There it is legal and our insurance would have covered the entire cost (which would have been much less for them, like a total of $3,000). As the home birth midwifes in California are legally admissible to the hospital, if there were complications my midwife would go with me and continue to be my primary care provider. Additionally, as midwifes are legally licensed in California they bring oxygen tanks, pitocin for the afterbirth, general anesthesia for repair and other necessary items into your home to provide the same medical care you would get in the hospital.
In Virginia I was introduced to the reality that in some states there are two kinds of midwifes, those who do home births, who are not admissible to the hospital, and those who do hospital births. In the hospital birth scenario the midwife does not give you the individualized care of a traditional midwife-patient relationship, but rather operates with multiple patients at a time, providing quick and unpersonalized care (I am sure there are some exceptions here, but generally this is the case).
Even after exposure to Virginia, I mistakenly assumed that North Carolina would be one of the liberal states and that I would have the same options as I did in California for birthing location. (Note that the states have an approx 50/50 split regarding home birth and midwife legality.) Our first choice was the Women's Birth and Wellness Center in Chapel Hill. This birthing center provided the safety of being in a "facility" which we felt was an important concession to make to our parents, and also provided a place where I could have a water birth which was my top choice for birthing method. My mother in law said early on that I should consider the fact that the success rate at the Birth Center is contingent on the fact that they only accept a very specific group of patients with low risks. I didn't want to listen, and assumed that I would be low risk - no problems, low blood pressure, no reasons for concern - but alas, when I finally got around to submitting my records they did not accept me as a patient because my BMI was too high for their guidelines. Please note that they never even examined me! I cannot even tell you how it felt to be told that I was too fat to have Thriller there. I was devastated.
At this point I was hitting 6 1/2 months pregnant, moving to a new town, no contacts, and no clue what to do. I cried a lot - and Morgan got online and started researching options. Home birth had been our initial choice, and in the absence of the birthing center, seemed like our best option. Additionally, we really wanted a water birth and hospitals in North Carolina will not let you have a water birth! You can labor in the tub but not have the baby in it.
Little did we know that we are now living in one of the most conservative states regulating home birth! It is not illegal for us to have a baby at home, but it is illegal for any medical provider to attend the home birth. There is an underground group of providers that will help you, but their names are not disclosed and if you go to the hospital not only will they not be admitted, but you can also not disclose who was there without exposing them to loosing their license or arrest! We have the SAME INSURANCE as we had in California, but given the laws in North Carolina we would have to pay out of pocket for the home birth. Not to mention that any provider who would attend the birth would not have insurance. Additionally, I am just not comfortable with an underground midwife bringing pharmaceutical supplies and drugs into my home. I don't think it should be illegal for her to have them or administer them - but when it comes to the birth of my child, I want to make sure that the best legal alternatives are around.
Assuming risk by employing civil disobedience, despite my liberalism, is not appropriate when it comes to having a baby.
Luckily my Bradley instructor made a great recommendation for Triangle OBGYN (doctor/midwife practice, very natural birth friendly) and Wake Med Cary (10 minutes away from our house, also very natural birth friendly) - and generally I am happy. The parents are happy and I do not feel like I need to go into the birth with my defenses up.
Despite the fact that I have found a good doctor/midwife practice and am having Thriller in a very progressive hospital I still find my mind wandering back to extreme frustration! It is my body and Morgan and I's child growing inside of it! Shouldn't we be in charge of how it comes into the world? It is SO MUCH safer to bring home birth above ground where it can be legal than have it occur behind closed doors with a hush hush attitude.
Here are some other ways my body and Thriller have been regulated thus far, I'm sure there are more to come:
Testing:
Simply being pregnant and receiving medical care opens me up to having legally required testing for transmittable diseases at the beginning and at the end of my pregnancy. Is there good reason for this, of course! If I have HIV they must know. If I contract HIV they must know prior to delivery as a c-section is required to protect the child. Moms may sleep around, fathers do cheat, etc - But nonetheless I am subject to body regulation without any choice.
But here is the kicker - they test me for every STD in the book prior to delivery but still the law requires that Thriller get an eye ointment to prevent blindness in case I have gonorrhea after birth. Doesn't it make MORE since to not do an unnecessary procedure and preserve the resource if they already know I don't have it? Really?
Alcohol & Drugs:
If I disclosed to my doctor that I was still drinking, or simply said I had ever smoked pot or used illegal street drugs, I would be subjected to routine drug testing, the law there applies to the doctor's responsibility, but it is still my body! In some cases women are even forced to meet with a probation officer and counselor like someone on parole! All this does is make it so women cannot trust their doctors and will not disclose their history to them, which is a real shame. This is not to say that an active drug user should not be subject to testing and counseling - but to be routinely tested after simply saying something like "I smoked pot in college" is a gross over extension of concern.
Vaccinations:
Vaccinations bring up a whole other debate. I have never felt so pressured or truly controlled and violated as I did the day I received my H1N1 vaccine. Was it the safe thing for me to do? Probably. But the CDC issued a statement that said ALL DOCTORS had to advise me to do it, binding their liability, and I honestly do not know that I will ever feel that I had a chance at getting the complete picture. Not to mention that both my mother and mother in law were extremely clear in their belief that I should get the vaccine which added genuine, loving pressure.
And then their are the concerns for the child's vaccines. Again, the CDC presents a schedule and the doctors have a liability issue if they do not follow it. I don't honestly have a problem with vaccines but I do have a problem with the set schedule and doctors who will not modify it based on the patent's (aka MY CHILD'S) needs. And, in some states, I have a serious problem with the addition of vaccines to the schedule.
I know that state and federal regulations governing pregnant women and children were put into place to protect the child. I know that extreme negligence and risky behavior endangers children and we (the collective society) need to protect them from their parents sometimes. But where is the line?
I believe that our society would benefit MORE from having parent education classes and giving parents the right to choose what is best for their birth plan and child. By taking the responsibility away from the parents and letting the state dictate regulation to protect the child from the moment pregnancy is realized we have taken away an integral part of preparing to be a parent.
I had a dear friend say to me last weekend that she had no idea that she had options, she thought you just went and did what the doctor told you to do. This prevalent understanding of your role in medical care in birthing in our society is so damaging to the parents! Have some ownership! Be an active participant! This is YOUR CHILD! Even if you choose to elect a c-section, take all the drugs offered, etc - OWN IT. Educate yourself and your partner to make smart decisions.
Morgan and I are obviously on the educated side, and as it is our nature, we question state regulations. I hope that we make good educated decisions for our child, and believe that we have in choosing health care providers and in constructing our birth plan thus far. I also hope that we can legally have our next child at home and have freedom to choose what is best for us and our family.
I thought I was keenly aware of regulation of my body. I grew up in a pro-choice home, have an undergraduate concentration in Women's Studies and am very well versed on the history of regulation of women's bodies and sexuality by laws and social norms around the world. All of this background did not, however, prepare me for the laws, hospital regulations and variations of standards of care surrounding the birth process and having a child.
Over the course of my pregnancy I have lived in California, Virginia and North Carolina (where we are settled). We have been planning a natural childbirth from the start, but finding the location for our birth has presented complications along the way.
If we were still in California, I would be having a water birth at home with a midwife. There it is legal and our insurance would have covered the entire cost (which would have been much less for them, like a total of $3,000). As the home birth midwifes in California are legally admissible to the hospital, if there were complications my midwife would go with me and continue to be my primary care provider. Additionally, as midwifes are legally licensed in California they bring oxygen tanks, pitocin for the afterbirth, general anesthesia for repair and other necessary items into your home to provide the same medical care you would get in the hospital.
In Virginia I was introduced to the reality that in some states there are two kinds of midwifes, those who do home births, who are not admissible to the hospital, and those who do hospital births. In the hospital birth scenario the midwife does not give you the individualized care of a traditional midwife-patient relationship, but rather operates with multiple patients at a time, providing quick and unpersonalized care (I am sure there are some exceptions here, but generally this is the case).
Even after exposure to Virginia, I mistakenly assumed that North Carolina would be one of the liberal states and that I would have the same options as I did in California for birthing location. (Note that the states have an approx 50/50 split regarding home birth and midwife legality.) Our first choice was the Women's Birth and Wellness Center in Chapel Hill. This birthing center provided the safety of being in a "facility" which we felt was an important concession to make to our parents, and also provided a place where I could have a water birth which was my top choice for birthing method. My mother in law said early on that I should consider the fact that the success rate at the Birth Center is contingent on the fact that they only accept a very specific group of patients with low risks. I didn't want to listen, and assumed that I would be low risk - no problems, low blood pressure, no reasons for concern - but alas, when I finally got around to submitting my records they did not accept me as a patient because my BMI was too high for their guidelines. Please note that they never even examined me! I cannot even tell you how it felt to be told that I was too fat to have Thriller there. I was devastated.
At this point I was hitting 6 1/2 months pregnant, moving to a new town, no contacts, and no clue what to do. I cried a lot - and Morgan got online and started researching options. Home birth had been our initial choice, and in the absence of the birthing center, seemed like our best option. Additionally, we really wanted a water birth and hospitals in North Carolina will not let you have a water birth! You can labor in the tub but not have the baby in it.
Little did we know that we are now living in one of the most conservative states regulating home birth! It is not illegal for us to have a baby at home, but it is illegal for any medical provider to attend the home birth. There is an underground group of providers that will help you, but their names are not disclosed and if you go to the hospital not only will they not be admitted, but you can also not disclose who was there without exposing them to loosing their license or arrest! We have the SAME INSURANCE as we had in California, but given the laws in North Carolina we would have to pay out of pocket for the home birth. Not to mention that any provider who would attend the birth would not have insurance. Additionally, I am just not comfortable with an underground midwife bringing pharmaceutical supplies and drugs into my home. I don't think it should be illegal for her to have them or administer them - but when it comes to the birth of my child, I want to make sure that the best legal alternatives are around.
Assuming risk by employing civil disobedience, despite my liberalism, is not appropriate when it comes to having a baby.
Luckily my Bradley instructor made a great recommendation for Triangle OBGYN (doctor/midwife practice, very natural birth friendly) and Wake Med Cary (10 minutes away from our house, also very natural birth friendly) - and generally I am happy. The parents are happy and I do not feel like I need to go into the birth with my defenses up.
Despite the fact that I have found a good doctor/midwife practice and am having Thriller in a very progressive hospital I still find my mind wandering back to extreme frustration! It is my body and Morgan and I's child growing inside of it! Shouldn't we be in charge of how it comes into the world? It is SO MUCH safer to bring home birth above ground where it can be legal than have it occur behind closed doors with a hush hush attitude.
Here are some other ways my body and Thriller have been regulated thus far, I'm sure there are more to come:
Testing:
Simply being pregnant and receiving medical care opens me up to having legally required testing for transmittable diseases at the beginning and at the end of my pregnancy. Is there good reason for this, of course! If I have HIV they must know. If I contract HIV they must know prior to delivery as a c-section is required to protect the child. Moms may sleep around, fathers do cheat, etc - But nonetheless I am subject to body regulation without any choice.
But here is the kicker - they test me for every STD in the book prior to delivery but still the law requires that Thriller get an eye ointment to prevent blindness in case I have gonorrhea after birth. Doesn't it make MORE since to not do an unnecessary procedure and preserve the resource if they already know I don't have it? Really?
Alcohol & Drugs:
If I disclosed to my doctor that I was still drinking, or simply said I had ever smoked pot or used illegal street drugs, I would be subjected to routine drug testing, the law there applies to the doctor's responsibility, but it is still my body! In some cases women are even forced to meet with a probation officer and counselor like someone on parole! All this does is make it so women cannot trust their doctors and will not disclose their history to them, which is a real shame. This is not to say that an active drug user should not be subject to testing and counseling - but to be routinely tested after simply saying something like "I smoked pot in college" is a gross over extension of concern.
Vaccinations:
Vaccinations bring up a whole other debate. I have never felt so pressured or truly controlled and violated as I did the day I received my H1N1 vaccine. Was it the safe thing for me to do? Probably. But the CDC issued a statement that said ALL DOCTORS had to advise me to do it, binding their liability, and I honestly do not know that I will ever feel that I had a chance at getting the complete picture. Not to mention that both my mother and mother in law were extremely clear in their belief that I should get the vaccine which added genuine, loving pressure.
And then their are the concerns for the child's vaccines. Again, the CDC presents a schedule and the doctors have a liability issue if they do not follow it. I don't honestly have a problem with vaccines but I do have a problem with the set schedule and doctors who will not modify it based on the patent's (aka MY CHILD'S) needs. And, in some states, I have a serious problem with the addition of vaccines to the schedule.
I know that state and federal regulations governing pregnant women and children were put into place to protect the child. I know that extreme negligence and risky behavior endangers children and we (the collective society) need to protect them from their parents sometimes. But where is the line?
I believe that our society would benefit MORE from having parent education classes and giving parents the right to choose what is best for their birth plan and child. By taking the responsibility away from the parents and letting the state dictate regulation to protect the child from the moment pregnancy is realized we have taken away an integral part of preparing to be a parent.
I had a dear friend say to me last weekend that she had no idea that she had options, she thought you just went and did what the doctor told you to do. This prevalent understanding of your role in medical care in birthing in our society is so damaging to the parents! Have some ownership! Be an active participant! This is YOUR CHILD! Even if you choose to elect a c-section, take all the drugs offered, etc - OWN IT. Educate yourself and your partner to make smart decisions.
Morgan and I are obviously on the educated side, and as it is our nature, we question state regulations. I hope that we make good educated decisions for our child, and believe that we have in choosing health care providers and in constructing our birth plan thus far. I also hope that we can legally have our next child at home and have freedom to choose what is best for us and our family.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Bradley Class 7
I have to say that I feel particularly lucky to have a Bradley instructor who is dedicated to presenting a fair, complete picture of the birth process. I know the course has a reputation of having instructors who are very harsh about the expectation of natural childbirth. In this weeks class we went down the list of procedures, drugs, choices, etc so that we can write our birth plan. It was a culmination of lots of the little bits of information we have gathered so far.
Laura suggested that we start off by loosing the idea of a "birth plan" because there is no way to plan your birth. Rather than we entitle the document "birth preferences" and really get it into our head that that is all it is - preferences. What we can do is be educated about our options to ask the right questions should we need intervention, etc and know what our preferences are. Otherwise you are pretty much setting yourself up for a feeling of disappointment or failure if you deviate from your plan - which will almost certainly happen.
I have been waiting to get my B-Strep test next week before writing my "birth plan" as it will make a significant difference in when we go to the hospital, if I need and IV port, and how long we have to stay. But now that I am thinking about it, maybe I'll go ahead and draft my "birth preferences" knowing that it might change.
Morgan and I were also charged with getting packed for the hospital in the next week or so! By the time I hit 36 weeks our instructor suggests that we should be ready to go! We have a checklist and I am SO NOT ready to go based on its recommendations. I'm still trying to think of a way to sneak Cooper into the hospital - probably not the most realistic thing for me to be focusing on :)
Laura suggested that we start off by loosing the idea of a "birth plan" because there is no way to plan your birth. Rather than we entitle the document "birth preferences" and really get it into our head that that is all it is - preferences. What we can do is be educated about our options to ask the right questions should we need intervention, etc and know what our preferences are. Otherwise you are pretty much setting yourself up for a feeling of disappointment or failure if you deviate from your plan - which will almost certainly happen.
I have been waiting to get my B-Strep test next week before writing my "birth plan" as it will make a significant difference in when we go to the hospital, if I need and IV port, and how long we have to stay. But now that I am thinking about it, maybe I'll go ahead and draft my "birth preferences" knowing that it might change.
Morgan and I were also charged with getting packed for the hospital in the next week or so! By the time I hit 36 weeks our instructor suggests that we should be ready to go! We have a checklist and I am SO NOT ready to go based on its recommendations. I'm still trying to think of a way to sneak Cooper into the hospital - probably not the most realistic thing for me to be focusing on :)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thriller Shower
Yesterday we had the most wonderful baby shower and housewarming party thanks to the best friends in the world. Our house filled up early with family and friends, homemade chili, sweet delights, cocktails and toasts! It was wonderful and we are very blessed to have had such a day!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Ophelia's Adventure with Thriller
I just had the most amazing experience. I know I talk a lot about Cooper and he may have an unfair favorite pet reputation - but that is only because our sweet kitty is so shy, and moments with her are sweet and often still, which is how she likes it.
Ophelia was slightly traumatized by the move but has settled into our new house nicely. She sleeps beside me every night and is clearly aware that I am expecting. However, I has no idea how interested she was until a few minutes ago.
I took a shower, wrapped myself up in a towel and then laid down on the bed for a few moments off of my feet, a slight space existing between by belly and the body pillow. Ophelia crept into the slight space, and ever so gently (without any nails) started slightly feeling around on my belly. She used her paws to apply the slightest pressure until she found a spot where Thriller was moving and then followed the movement around with her paws (still without any nails) all over my belly. After the little adventure was done, she curled up headfirst to have her head right next to where the last movement was a purred at my belly.
WOW. Animals never cease to amaze me. Looks like our little kitty is getting excited too!
Ophelia was slightly traumatized by the move but has settled into our new house nicely. She sleeps beside me every night and is clearly aware that I am expecting. However, I has no idea how interested she was until a few minutes ago.
I took a shower, wrapped myself up in a towel and then laid down on the bed for a few moments off of my feet, a slight space existing between by belly and the body pillow. Ophelia crept into the slight space, and ever so gently (without any nails) started slightly feeling around on my belly. She used her paws to apply the slightest pressure until she found a spot where Thriller was moving and then followed the movement around with her paws (still without any nails) all over my belly. After the little adventure was done, she curled up headfirst to have her head right next to where the last movement was a purred at my belly.
WOW. Animals never cease to amaze me. Looks like our little kitty is getting excited too!
Bradley Class 6
Transition > Pushing > Baby in Arms
In this weeks class we discussed transition and the second stage of labor. I must admit that I was surprised to learn about the drastic changes in body temperature and mood that occur in the transition phase. Also, transition is the phase where women most often give into pain medication - which is arguably too bad because you are so close! I haven't been there so I don't know ... but we have some pointers to get me through without caving into the epidural.
The inevitable POOP: I was already prepared for the reality of pooping when pushing from reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Luckily Morgan read this too and we had already joked about it. Also, luckily, we do not have a relationship where discussion or the reality of such things is considered taboo. In class this week the reality of the POOP was discussed - and it seems most of my classmates are also going to be able to face this fact. I have had friends who were so mortified by the POOP that they got down to the wire and wouldn't push due to the fear of their husbands knowing or seeing such a terrible thing.
Let me be clear, I'm not excited about this being a part of the birth process, but it is what it is. And it gets taken care of immediately by the staff who are caring for you. And hopefully Morgan will never know - and if he does I know he'll love me anyway and never bring it up. So if you are reading this and POOP is taboo in your life, I recommend facing it now! Besides, POOP will be even more of a reality in our lives after Thriller comes I am sure.
RING OF FIRE: Apparently right before the baby comes you become so hot that you literally will feel like you need to back up off of a heat source at the birth canal. This is often referred to as the "Ring of Fire" and the best way to get through it is to just remember - you're moments away from having your baby in your arms!
I like that part the most. Can't go through the pain, can't go around it - but just go through the ring of fire and meet your child. I think I can handle that!
In this weeks class we discussed transition and the second stage of labor. I must admit that I was surprised to learn about the drastic changes in body temperature and mood that occur in the transition phase. Also, transition is the phase where women most often give into pain medication - which is arguably too bad because you are so close! I haven't been there so I don't know ... but we have some pointers to get me through without caving into the epidural.
- Ask for an IV of fluid (assuming you are not already on one), take the whole IV and get checked BEFORE asking for the epidural. The IV can speed things along significantly and get you through the scary phase without caving into the drugs.
- Relaxation techniques: Needs will have totally changed from the first phase of labor, coach will need to remember that he needs to adjust.
- Remember: More often than not, transition only lasts 30 minutes - Anyone can do 30 minutes!
The inevitable POOP: I was already prepared for the reality of pooping when pushing from reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. Luckily Morgan read this too and we had already joked about it. Also, luckily, we do not have a relationship where discussion or the reality of such things is considered taboo. In class this week the reality of the POOP was discussed - and it seems most of my classmates are also going to be able to face this fact. I have had friends who were so mortified by the POOP that they got down to the wire and wouldn't push due to the fear of their husbands knowing or seeing such a terrible thing.
Let me be clear, I'm not excited about this being a part of the birth process, but it is what it is. And it gets taken care of immediately by the staff who are caring for you. And hopefully Morgan will never know - and if he does I know he'll love me anyway and never bring it up. So if you are reading this and POOP is taboo in your life, I recommend facing it now! Besides, POOP will be even more of a reality in our lives after Thriller comes I am sure.
RING OF FIRE: Apparently right before the baby comes you become so hot that you literally will feel like you need to back up off of a heat source at the birth canal. This is often referred to as the "Ring of Fire" and the best way to get through it is to just remember - you're moments away from having your baby in your arms!
I like that part the most. Can't go through the pain, can't go around it - but just go through the ring of fire and meet your child. I think I can handle that!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
My Big Baby
As I started off pregnancy on the heavy side, then lost 13-18 pounds in the first trimester due to extreme morning sickness coupled with migraines. I have slowly floated along my pregnancy boasting gleefully that my hips are slimmer. Well, the good news is that my hips are still slimmer.
In my last doctor's appointment I finally gained my first pound, and was honestly a bit relieved to know that the baby was getting bigger. At that appointment Dr. V suggested that I was measuring a little big, but did not seem terribly concerned.
However, in the past two weeks I have put on an additional 4 pounds and am measuring 37 cn - which is where I should be measuring at 37 weeks - meaning that our little Thriller isn't so little! I would like to think that he/she has just had a growth spurt and will balance back out to be within the average size range. Morgan, on the other hand, believes I should not put so much faith into what is considered "average." He is probably right as neither of us is anything like average!
I am also sure that in the past two weeks I have gone through major physical changes. It is much harder for me to get up, I am extremely uncomfortable when sitting down, I can't sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time, bending over is no longer really an option and I have an insatiable thirst for water. What is going to happen as I get bigger? Geez!
Due to the increased size, I am going to have ANOTHER ultrasound on 12/22. This will be my 4th one and I am honestly not very excited about having it due to the concerns about over exposure to the process. At UCSF they clearly told us they were researching and publishing why it is important to have as few ultrasounds as possible and suggested you should have 2 at most unless you are considered high risk. I don't think the fact that Morgan and I made a big baby should come as any surprise to anyone, and I don't think that it makes me high risk - especially considering that everything has been totally normal thus far. But alas we are slaves to the medical profession - we should have the ultrasound in case there is XXX which could mean complications YYY. I like Triangle OBGYN and trust them - I don't think they are just trying to make a buck off of me at Thriller's potential expense - so fingers crossed we don't have any Xs or Ys in a couple of weeks.
At least Morgan will get to come to this one so he'll get another visual. There is the silver lining.
In my last doctor's appointment I finally gained my first pound, and was honestly a bit relieved to know that the baby was getting bigger. At that appointment Dr. V suggested that I was measuring a little big, but did not seem terribly concerned.
However, in the past two weeks I have put on an additional 4 pounds and am measuring 37 cn - which is where I should be measuring at 37 weeks - meaning that our little Thriller isn't so little! I would like to think that he/she has just had a growth spurt and will balance back out to be within the average size range. Morgan, on the other hand, believes I should not put so much faith into what is considered "average." He is probably right as neither of us is anything like average!
I am also sure that in the past two weeks I have gone through major physical changes. It is much harder for me to get up, I am extremely uncomfortable when sitting down, I can't sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time, bending over is no longer really an option and I have an insatiable thirst for water. What is going to happen as I get bigger? Geez!
Due to the increased size, I am going to have ANOTHER ultrasound on 12/22. This will be my 4th one and I am honestly not very excited about having it due to the concerns about over exposure to the process. At UCSF they clearly told us they were researching and publishing why it is important to have as few ultrasounds as possible and suggested you should have 2 at most unless you are considered high risk. I don't think the fact that Morgan and I made a big baby should come as any surprise to anyone, and I don't think that it makes me high risk - especially considering that everything has been totally normal thus far. But alas we are slaves to the medical profession - we should have the ultrasound in case there is XXX which could mean complications YYY. I like Triangle OBGYN and trust them - I don't think they are just trying to make a buck off of me at Thriller's potential expense - so fingers crossed we don't have any Xs or Ys in a couple of weeks.
At least Morgan will get to come to this one so he'll get another visual. There is the silver lining.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Jane comes to visit!
The nursery is really starting to take shape! I wish I could take any credit, but alas my inexperience with these sorts of things rendered me unable to even consider creative sticker murals as a way to liven up the room given Morgan's moratorium on painting.
Enter Jane Sneed: Oldest friend in the world, mother of two, and regular decorator and re-decorator. Jane is one of those girls who always has images of how to make things look better in the back of her mind - and she worked some serious magic in Thriller's room. We now have trees, owls, squirrels (much to Cooper's dismay), frogs, turtles, bluebirds and bears - creating a warm and perfect little themed (but not over themed!) room.
In addition to Jane's decorating skills, she also re-introduced me to Babys R Us. While I have no intention of making this a regular shopping spot - it was MUCH better to go to the store with an experienced mom who could explain things and help make some since of it all. And that is where they had the super cute wall stickers!
I was treated, treated, and treated again over her stay and learned volumes of practical mom knowledge.
Thank you Jane!
Enter Jane Sneed: Oldest friend in the world, mother of two, and regular decorator and re-decorator. Jane is one of those girls who always has images of how to make things look better in the back of her mind - and she worked some serious magic in Thriller's room. We now have trees, owls, squirrels (much to Cooper's dismay), frogs, turtles, bluebirds and bears - creating a warm and perfect little themed (but not over themed!) room.
In addition to Jane's decorating skills, she also re-introduced me to Babys R Us. While I have no intention of making this a regular shopping spot - it was MUCH better to go to the store with an experienced mom who could explain things and help make some since of it all. And that is where they had the super cute wall stickers!
I was treated, treated, and treated again over her stay and learned volumes of practical mom knowledge.
Thank you Jane!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Cooper:The Ultimate Protector
I've mentioned throughout the blog that Cooper has been very attentive throughout my pregnancy - I still think he was the first to know that I was expecting. He is especially protective when strangers approach me. Since we have been in Raleigh there has been a lot of rain - causing southern storms unlike those we experienced in California. Today has been one of those stormy, windy rainy days.
Cooper has not only refused to leave my side throughout the storms, but today he has taken it to another level. This morning I woke up to find his paws tucked under my ever increasing belly. As the winds have gotten stronger so has his devotion. Not only does he feel the need to be right next to me but whenever possible he puts himself right next to my belly. He seems totally drawn to touch it and I know that Thriller has been kicking (or punching or elbowing) in areas where Cooper has been resting his head and he has to be able to feel it.
I can't wait to see Cooper greet Thriller! I might have to buy a video camera to document the occasion.
Cooper has not only refused to leave my side throughout the storms, but today he has taken it to another level. This morning I woke up to find his paws tucked under my ever increasing belly. As the winds have gotten stronger so has his devotion. Not only does he feel the need to be right next to me but whenever possible he puts himself right next to my belly. He seems totally drawn to touch it and I know that Thriller has been kicking (or punching or elbowing) in areas where Cooper has been resting his head and he has to be able to feel it.
I can't wait to see Cooper greet Thriller! I might have to buy a video camera to document the occasion.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Nursery Progress
About 1/4 of the very blue nursery is filled with the few remaining boxes we need to unpack. The rest is full of our recently assembled baby furniture! YAY! Morgan and I spent much of Sunday setting up the crib (which was pretty easy) and the dresser (which was much more challenging!) and today I finished the job by putting together the changing table. Whew. Nesting has taken hold!
We have been all over the place on getting the nursery furniture together - from looking at high end designers to mass producers (Pottery Barn, Land of Nod, etc) to local craftsmen to hand me downs. I was feeling a lot of pressure to get the main parts of the room together and my mom came through and ordered our set right when the immediate nesting need took hold. We decided to go with the DaVinci line, which is constructed of sustainably harvested wood from New Zealand and has a nontoxic finish (higher standards for nontoxic than just what is required by law). However, it did come in a lot of packaging material! So I am not sure that our good intentions totally counteracted our carbon footprint on this one - but we did the best we could. And truly, I couldn't be happier with the look and feel of the room ... and look forward to finishing the room over the next week or so!
Cooper is feeling a little neglected while I am distracted! Tomorrow may have to be Cooper day to make up for all my other activities.
Bradley Class 5
Last night I went to our Bradley class solo, as Morgan is back in California for work. It will be his last work trip for some time, at least until a month after the birth and I am really secretly hoping for April. He is of course following it up with a trip to the Sierras for the weekend, where God willing there will be some snow for him to work out a little of his ski itch.
Back to Bradley. It was the best class yet! At least the most informative as we actually started talking about labor and what we (mom and coach) will need to do up until transition. Not the best class for Morgan to miss - but Laura, our instructor, gave us a DVD for him to watch and I took serious notes - which were of course typed up and emailed to him earlier today - with all the most important parts in bold.
As I am not a scientific person, much of what we learned yesterday that was most interesting to me was about "effacement" - I am now certain that the uterus is the most amazing organ in the body. Muscle literally moves from the front where it is protecting the baby to the back of the uterus to give your more strength to the baby out. Amazing. Wow. Body is amazing. This information, as well as a very visual images of my cervix dilating to 10 cm (about the size of a grocery store bagel) are going to help me tremendously in labor. While I am not a scientific person, I am very visual and I know focusing on images of what is happening inside me will help me get through the contractions.
We also learned about the 3-2-1 rule, which suggests that unless we have an accelerated progression, we wait until the contractions are 3 minutes apart, lasting at least 1 minute for at least 2 hours before going to the hospital. I think this will be key to my stamina - to stay at home as long as possible. While I was initially disappointed with the fact that we are not going to be in a birthing center, the close proximity to the hospital (10 minutes tops) does allow us a lot of freedom in this regard. Fantastic.
My confidence that we are going to be able to birth Thriller is growing by the day - and more importantly by the class. I am certain that by the time its TIME we will be able to be an educated, effective team in the delivery room. And baring any major unforeseen complications - I am certain with can bring this child into the world without drugs.
Back to Bradley. It was the best class yet! At least the most informative as we actually started talking about labor and what we (mom and coach) will need to do up until transition. Not the best class for Morgan to miss - but Laura, our instructor, gave us a DVD for him to watch and I took serious notes - which were of course typed up and emailed to him earlier today - with all the most important parts in bold.
As I am not a scientific person, much of what we learned yesterday that was most interesting to me was about "effacement" - I am now certain that the uterus is the most amazing organ in the body. Muscle literally moves from the front where it is protecting the baby to the back of the uterus to give your more strength to the baby out. Amazing. Wow. Body is amazing. This information, as well as a very visual images of my cervix dilating to 10 cm (about the size of a grocery store bagel) are going to help me tremendously in labor. While I am not a scientific person, I am very visual and I know focusing on images of what is happening inside me will help me get through the contractions.
We also learned about the 3-2-1 rule, which suggests that unless we have an accelerated progression, we wait until the contractions are 3 minutes apart, lasting at least 1 minute for at least 2 hours before going to the hospital. I think this will be key to my stamina - to stay at home as long as possible. While I was initially disappointed with the fact that we are not going to be in a birthing center, the close proximity to the hospital (10 minutes tops) does allow us a lot of freedom in this regard. Fantastic.
My confidence that we are going to be able to birth Thriller is growing by the day - and more importantly by the class. I am certain that by the time its TIME we will be able to be an educated, effective team in the delivery room. And baring any major unforeseen complications - I am certain with can bring this child into the world without drugs.
Monday, November 30, 2009
November
November has been a slow month for Mom and Thriller. We've been putting the house together (slowly) and relishing the moments when Morgan has been in town. We went to Vienna to have Thanksgiving with Morgan's family and had an amazing feast! While there we also went to Four Sun's Farm (where Morgan and I were married) as well as taking a Ray Vickery tour of historical sites and wineries around Fauquier County, Virginia.
Monday, November 23, 2009
59 days and counting ... Bradley Class No 4
Wow. It is 58 days until my due date. Almost all of my friends have delivered early, so I hope to be ready by Christmas! I am getting VERY anxious about being prepared.
Tonight Morgan and I went to the 4th Bradley class in our series. This weeks session was entitled "The Coach's Role" and we were very excited about the material as it was mainly geared towards Morgan.
Part of the coach's role is to be an educated participant in making decisions in the moment about medications and procedures.
I have to admit, that while I have been certain that I wanted to go natural since the beginning, I have even more resolve after tonight's class. We talked a lot about Analgesia (opium based narcotics) and Anesthesia (epidurals - which are cocaine based).
I was already sure that even in the worst case scenario we would opt out of the narcotics. However, I did not know that the narcotics are most likely to cause respiratory problems in the baby, which in turn means that it is taken away for observation until the breathing settles and you do not get to nurse or hold the baby, that they have to give the baby narcan (spelling? something like that) which is an anti-narcotic used to bring drug addicts back to consciousness to make the baby alert - NOR did I know, more importantly (almost, it is all pretty important) that it takes 2 WEEKS for the narcotics to get out of the baby's system. Not the way we are going to bring Thriller into the world ... even if I have to have a C-section I am opting out of any narcotics.
However, I have been more conflicted about the epidural. If I needed it, I was going to be open to it. In class, from the doctors, as well as through the stories and experiences of those I love there is no question that there is a place for the epidural in birthing, especially if it can lead to preventing further intervention (which would be very rare, but possible) or if you are having a c-section. I had heard rumors about chronic back pain being a side effect of the epidural, but I was still keeping a pretty open mind with very strong hopes that we made it through all the way without one.
And my new reason for not wanting an epidural or spinal is completely focused on me and preventing pain. Which may sound strange.
Apparently Epidurals and Spinals can cause migraines, and if you are already a migraine sufferer it is most likely that you will have the worst migraine pain of your life. This is because of a change in spinal fluid pressure on your brain stem. Okay people, I've already had what I thought was the worst migraine pain of my life. No way in hell I am doing ANYTHING that will most likely cause me to be in worse migraine pain that I have already experienced. I can't imagine that the most painful constant back labor and/or un-medicated episiotamy could be more painful.
In addition, immediately following the birth I would have to lie on my back to balance out the spinal fluid pressure and potentially the doctors would have to add more fluid back into my spine to get the migraine to stop ... I'm sure there is a more medically correct way to explain all this but this is the gist.
Not only would all of this be incredibly painful, but it would render me completely unable to nurse right away, hold the baby or do any of the things that I want to be able to do right after the baby is born. All of this would prevent me from being able to take the best care of Thriller possible.
My fear of the worst migraine of my life is much for extreme than my fear of labor. If there is a 2% chance it is too high, and it is much higher than 2%. The only way I will have an epidural is if I have a c-section - which god willing won't happen.
We can do this! And I have the best coach in the world.
Tonight Morgan and I went to the 4th Bradley class in our series. This weeks session was entitled "The Coach's Role" and we were very excited about the material as it was mainly geared towards Morgan.
Part of the coach's role is to be an educated participant in making decisions in the moment about medications and procedures.
I have to admit, that while I have been certain that I wanted to go natural since the beginning, I have even more resolve after tonight's class. We talked a lot about Analgesia (opium based narcotics) and Anesthesia (epidurals - which are cocaine based).
I was already sure that even in the worst case scenario we would opt out of the narcotics. However, I did not know that the narcotics are most likely to cause respiratory problems in the baby, which in turn means that it is taken away for observation until the breathing settles and you do not get to nurse or hold the baby, that they have to give the baby narcan (spelling? something like that) which is an anti-narcotic used to bring drug addicts back to consciousness to make the baby alert - NOR did I know, more importantly (almost, it is all pretty important) that it takes 2 WEEKS for the narcotics to get out of the baby's system. Not the way we are going to bring Thriller into the world ... even if I have to have a C-section I am opting out of any narcotics.
However, I have been more conflicted about the epidural. If I needed it, I was going to be open to it. In class, from the doctors, as well as through the stories and experiences of those I love there is no question that there is a place for the epidural in birthing, especially if it can lead to preventing further intervention (which would be very rare, but possible) or if you are having a c-section. I had heard rumors about chronic back pain being a side effect of the epidural, but I was still keeping a pretty open mind with very strong hopes that we made it through all the way without one.
And my new reason for not wanting an epidural or spinal is completely focused on me and preventing pain. Which may sound strange.
Apparently Epidurals and Spinals can cause migraines, and if you are already a migraine sufferer it is most likely that you will have the worst migraine pain of your life. This is because of a change in spinal fluid pressure on your brain stem. Okay people, I've already had what I thought was the worst migraine pain of my life. No way in hell I am doing ANYTHING that will most likely cause me to be in worse migraine pain that I have already experienced. I can't imagine that the most painful constant back labor and/or un-medicated episiotamy could be more painful.
In addition, immediately following the birth I would have to lie on my back to balance out the spinal fluid pressure and potentially the doctors would have to add more fluid back into my spine to get the migraine to stop ... I'm sure there is a more medically correct way to explain all this but this is the gist.
Not only would all of this be incredibly painful, but it would render me completely unable to nurse right away, hold the baby or do any of the things that I want to be able to do right after the baby is born. All of this would prevent me from being able to take the best care of Thriller possible.
My fear of the worst migraine of my life is much for extreme than my fear of labor. If there is a 2% chance it is too high, and it is much higher than 2%. The only way I will have an epidural is if I have a c-section - which god willing won't happen.
We can do this! And I have the best coach in the world.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Dr. V
Friday was, in the world of a pregnant woman, a very exciting day. I had a doctor's appointment at Triangle OBGYN with Dr. V.
Due to Morgan's travel and work, he hasn't been able to make it to a doctor's appointment since my 20 week appointment, so I was really excited to have him with me to introduce him to the new practice and sort of re-engage him with the process of preparing for Thriller. He met me head on and had a list of as many questions for the doctor as I did.
Triangle offers a nurse midwife delivery as long as the delivery is vaginal and has OBs on call in the event of major intervention, such as a c-section. And, fundamentally, if the midwife has a question or approvals are needed, she has to check in with the doctor.
(Note: OK, this is more of a conservative approach than Morgan and I wanted to take to birthing, but as this is where we are I feel that it is a very good compromise. We found a practice and a hospital that will let us has a natural, midwife delivery and respects the methods we believe in.)
I have met 3 of the midwives, all of which I really liked, but meeting "Dr. V" was a big deal - sort of like meeting the man behind the curtain, and also the man who might have to cut me open if things go that way. Meeting with him gave us a chance to ask the hard questions to the decision maker to be clear about the theory behind the practice and what we can expect in delivery.
Dr. V could not have made a better impression on us.
(SWEET! YES! THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY!)
He is super mellow. He told us to go read up on Ina May. He answered all our questions honestly talking about the best and worst case. And he had actually really reviewed the chart enough to know that Morgan works in solar and know about our travels, etc which I honestly did not expect him to have done.
Induction: Will go 10 days past due date with new mother - really like to avoid induction especially with first time moms.
Early Discharge: No problem, if everyone looks good.
IV Port: Only required if you have B-Strep. However, if you're looking tired at 5 centimeters then its going in so they are ready (reasonable).
Food/Drink During Labor: Anesthesia at the hospital says NO - but if you need to munch under the radar they don't really care as long as you are not preparing for a C-section.
Labor: Tub, Ball, Move Around - whatever works for you. He did say not to be afraid to lie down especially as you go into the 3rd phase to preserve your strength.
Narcotics/Epidural: If it is in your birth plan to go natural, they will not offer, you ask for it.
Intermittent Fetal Heart Monitoring: As long as there are no interventions or irregularities, preferred method.
And many other points .... most importantly he said that he trusts the midwives 100% and clearly thinks of them as equals as medical professionals. That seriously made a positive impression on me!
His obvious intelligence coupled with his very honest and mellow attitude made me feel so secure.
Some people might want someone who seems very engaged or enthusiastic and been turned off by Dr. V. Not me. Not Morgan. I can't think of anyone I would rather have in charge of taking care of me and Thriller should our natural birth plan not work. (God willing this won't happen!)
Part of what we have learned over the pregnancy is that at lot of unnecessary procedures happen because of overeager doctors (Wolfe may call them "Masters of the Universe") and I am certain that Dr. V is just not that kind of doctor. Whew.
Due to Morgan's travel and work, he hasn't been able to make it to a doctor's appointment since my 20 week appointment, so I was really excited to have him with me to introduce him to the new practice and sort of re-engage him with the process of preparing for Thriller. He met me head on and had a list of as many questions for the doctor as I did.
Triangle offers a nurse midwife delivery as long as the delivery is vaginal and has OBs on call in the event of major intervention, such as a c-section. And, fundamentally, if the midwife has a question or approvals are needed, she has to check in with the doctor.
(Note: OK, this is more of a conservative approach than Morgan and I wanted to take to birthing, but as this is where we are I feel that it is a very good compromise. We found a practice and a hospital that will let us has a natural, midwife delivery and respects the methods we believe in.)
I have met 3 of the midwives, all of which I really liked, but meeting "Dr. V" was a big deal - sort of like meeting the man behind the curtain, and also the man who might have to cut me open if things go that way. Meeting with him gave us a chance to ask the hard questions to the decision maker to be clear about the theory behind the practice and what we can expect in delivery.
Dr. V could not have made a better impression on us.
(SWEET! YES! THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY!)
He is super mellow. He told us to go read up on Ina May. He answered all our questions honestly talking about the best and worst case. And he had actually really reviewed the chart enough to know that Morgan works in solar and know about our travels, etc which I honestly did not expect him to have done.
Induction: Will go 10 days past due date with new mother - really like to avoid induction especially with first time moms.
Early Discharge: No problem, if everyone looks good.
IV Port: Only required if you have B-Strep. However, if you're looking tired at 5 centimeters then its going in so they are ready (reasonable).
Food/Drink During Labor: Anesthesia at the hospital says NO - but if you need to munch under the radar they don't really care as long as you are not preparing for a C-section.
Labor: Tub, Ball, Move Around - whatever works for you. He did say not to be afraid to lie down especially as you go into the 3rd phase to preserve your strength.
Narcotics/Epidural: If it is in your birth plan to go natural, they will not offer, you ask for it.
Intermittent Fetal Heart Monitoring: As long as there are no interventions or irregularities, preferred method.
And many other points .... most importantly he said that he trusts the midwives 100% and clearly thinks of them as equals as medical professionals. That seriously made a positive impression on me!
His obvious intelligence coupled with his very honest and mellow attitude made me feel so secure.
Some people might want someone who seems very engaged or enthusiastic and been turned off by Dr. V. Not me. Not Morgan. I can't think of anyone I would rather have in charge of taking care of me and Thriller should our natural birth plan not work. (God willing this won't happen!)
Part of what we have learned over the pregnancy is that at lot of unnecessary procedures happen because of overeager doctors (Wolfe may call them "Masters of the Universe") and I am certain that Dr. V is just not that kind of doctor. Whew.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Slow House
Okay, so I am a slow un-packer. We are slowly acquiring furniture and other items to fill on our house, and honestly it has not be as much fun as it could be without having Morgan here all the time. As he is home all this weekend I hope that we will knock out a lot of the remaining unpacking and do something with the yard. The grass is tall, the leaves have fallen, and the plants need to be cut back. I think I might have to make a trip to Lowe's today to get a rake and some other supplies to make our weekend productive. Of course, I have no idea what to do with the yard - at least Morgan had landscaping experience after college, but I honestly don't think he really has that much of a clue either :)
Anyway. Things are, however, slowly coming together. I knocked out the kitchen the first day - thank GOD. Mom came up and brought more furniture and some family heirlooms to fill in our home as well as treating us to new Italian leather couches, chairs for the living room (which haven't arrived yet), bookcases and among other things.
The bookcases required assembly and I was damned determined to do it on Monday. Putting one together took me 4 hours, several power tools and now the whole neighborhood knows I can have a mouth like a sailor. At least it was sunny and I was outside. Luckily later that afternoon Amy Vaden came into town and the next day she was able to put the second one together in an hour, without the use of power tools until the very end. Apparently I kept stripping the screws because the bit on the drill was the wrong size. Who knew?
I swear I used to be more self sufficient.
Anyway. The bookcases are complete! And the library/music room is almost perfect! We still need to get the guitars on the wall, figure out what wall art we want to go with, and source a nice desk chair as well as a second reading area chair ... so maybe it isn't that complete, but it sure feels a lot more full! And it looks great! Thank you MOM and AMY! So it is the smallest room in the house. Plenty to go. But we'll get there -
It takes time to figure out the best place for everything. And better to take it than rush through the process, don't you think?
I am feeling a little pressure from being 8 weeks out. I would like to have it done by December 10. This is my goal! Wish me luck!
Anyway. Things are, however, slowly coming together. I knocked out the kitchen the first day - thank GOD. Mom came up and brought more furniture and some family heirlooms to fill in our home as well as treating us to new Italian leather couches, chairs for the living room (which haven't arrived yet), bookcases and among other things.
The bookcases required assembly and I was damned determined to do it on Monday. Putting one together took me 4 hours, several power tools and now the whole neighborhood knows I can have a mouth like a sailor. At least it was sunny and I was outside. Luckily later that afternoon Amy Vaden came into town and the next day she was able to put the second one together in an hour, without the use of power tools until the very end. Apparently I kept stripping the screws because the bit on the drill was the wrong size. Who knew?
I swear I used to be more self sufficient.
Anyway. The bookcases are complete! And the library/music room is almost perfect! We still need to get the guitars on the wall, figure out what wall art we want to go with, and source a nice desk chair as well as a second reading area chair ... so maybe it isn't that complete, but it sure feels a lot more full! And it looks great! Thank you MOM and AMY! So it is the smallest room in the house. Plenty to go. But we'll get there -
It takes time to figure out the best place for everything. And better to take it than rush through the process, don't you think?
I am feeling a little pressure from being 8 weeks out. I would like to have it done by December 10. This is my goal! Wish me luck!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Bradley Class 3 & The Circumcision Decision
I really enjoyed our Bradley Class on Monday. There are a wide range of topics that we cover in each class, but this is the first class that started to bring people out of there shell a little. We did a foot to head relaxation technique as well as talking a bit about our personal experiences so far. We talked about pregnancy - the physiology of what is happening, etc some. Morgan could identify all of the organs on the diagram in our workbook, which was much better than I did. And then we talked about controversial issues in pregnancy. These included circumcision, b-strep/antibiotics, episiotomy, perineal massage, vaccines, etc.
The only one of these that Morgan and I had not already really figured out what we think/want to do is circumcision. I don't think either of us really knows what to think on this topic. On the one hand, we are the ONLY country in the world that has this debate - other countries (including Canada and all of Europe) ONLY circumcise for religious reasons. Insurance companies do not all necessarily cover the procedure as it is considered cosmetic and has no medical purpose.
But that is how his daddy is. And what all our parents did. So here we are, with all of our forward thinking still trapped by the construct of a social norm that makes us uncomfortable to think about being different.
In the Raleigh area there is a 60/40 split on circumcision vs. no circumcision - a common divide for educated, urban areas. The national average is like 55/45. Rural areas tend to see higher rates of circumcision. There are a lot of myths about why circumcision became the norm as far as the spread of diseases and cleanliness - and there are some truths. The most notable immediate development factor is that circumcised boys experience a drop in appetite and do not eat as much following the procedure for a while due to the trauma.
But this is one of those topics where you can find ANYTHING online to justify WHATEVER you want it to.
The American Medical Association states: All current policy statements from specialty societies and medical organizations do not recommend routine neonatal circumcision, and support the provision of accurate and unbiased information to parents to inform their choice.
Where does one begin? We have to have a plan in case Thriller is a boy.
For me the idea of having my (potential) baby boy taken away in the second day of life and put into a room where they go around snipping baby's foreskins in mass is relatively upsetting. I like the idea of having Morgan go with him so he wouldn't be so alone - but then I think that that would probably be pretty upsetting for Morgan. I have an image of the doctors approaching Thriller and Morgan snatching him off the table and running out of the hospital before the procedure could start - the Vickery men can't even face the idea of fixing their dogs!
And then there are other factors as well. Morgan and I have been hoping to have an early discharge so we can leave the hospital possibly 12-14 hours after delivery. However, if I have drugs, B-Strep or other complications then we have to stay the whole 2 days. If there are no problems and we can leave early then we would leave before it is okay to do the procedure. So then we would have to go to a doctor and do the circumcision in a Bris like fashion in the first week of life.
And then there is the insurance coverage issue...
And then there is the fact that men who are not circumcised experience a greater sensation in their adult lives when doing adult activities. Okay ... I can't really consider Thriller at this level at ALL.
And then there is the feminist prospective ...
I am very impressed that Morgan read through all the material and literature on this topic we were provided and is very thoughtfully considering what is best for Thriller. I think he will continue to do so, which is good because I don't want to look at the pictures of the procedure ever again. The slightest glance was too much for me.
My gut instinct is not to do it. However, it still makes me squeamish to think about either way.
I think Morgan may have to make the call on this one.
The only one of these that Morgan and I had not already really figured out what we think/want to do is circumcision. I don't think either of us really knows what to think on this topic. On the one hand, we are the ONLY country in the world that has this debate - other countries (including Canada and all of Europe) ONLY circumcise for religious reasons. Insurance companies do not all necessarily cover the procedure as it is considered cosmetic and has no medical purpose.
But that is how his daddy is. And what all our parents did. So here we are, with all of our forward thinking still trapped by the construct of a social norm that makes us uncomfortable to think about being different.
In the Raleigh area there is a 60/40 split on circumcision vs. no circumcision - a common divide for educated, urban areas. The national average is like 55/45. Rural areas tend to see higher rates of circumcision. There are a lot of myths about why circumcision became the norm as far as the spread of diseases and cleanliness - and there are some truths. The most notable immediate development factor is that circumcised boys experience a drop in appetite and do not eat as much following the procedure for a while due to the trauma.
But this is one of those topics where you can find ANYTHING online to justify WHATEVER you want it to.
The American Medical Association states: All current policy statements from specialty societies and medical organizations do not recommend routine neonatal circumcision, and support the provision of accurate and unbiased information to parents to inform their choice.
Where does one begin? We have to have a plan in case Thriller is a boy.
For me the idea of having my (potential) baby boy taken away in the second day of life and put into a room where they go around snipping baby's foreskins in mass is relatively upsetting. I like the idea of having Morgan go with him so he wouldn't be so alone - but then I think that that would probably be pretty upsetting for Morgan. I have an image of the doctors approaching Thriller and Morgan snatching him off the table and running out of the hospital before the procedure could start - the Vickery men can't even face the idea of fixing their dogs!
And then there are other factors as well. Morgan and I have been hoping to have an early discharge so we can leave the hospital possibly 12-14 hours after delivery. However, if I have drugs, B-Strep or other complications then we have to stay the whole 2 days. If there are no problems and we can leave early then we would leave before it is okay to do the procedure. So then we would have to go to a doctor and do the circumcision in a Bris like fashion in the first week of life.
And then there is the insurance coverage issue...
And then there is the fact that men who are not circumcised experience a greater sensation in their adult lives when doing adult activities. Okay ... I can't really consider Thriller at this level at ALL.
And then there is the feminist prospective ...
I am very impressed that Morgan read through all the material and literature on this topic we were provided and is very thoughtfully considering what is best for Thriller. I think he will continue to do so, which is good because I don't want to look at the pictures of the procedure ever again. The slightest glance was too much for me.
My gut instinct is not to do it. However, it still makes me squeamish to think about either way.
I think Morgan may have to make the call on this one.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Hallways Inside My Mind
Everyday in pregnancy has presented new, often juxtaposed, series of experiences ... weather it is an urge to get organized or a desire to do nothing but sleep, insatiable hunger or finding food revolting, energy to walk miles or an inability to consider walking to check the mail ... it always seems new, unexpected and different due to the rapid way my body and needs are changing.
One of the most dramatically different internal emotional dialogues is the back and forth between feeling incredibly lonely or realizing that I am never alone ... little Thriller is with me all the time. The moments of loneliness are accompanied by a sense of loss and confusion whereas the Thriller oriented times have pride, focus and purpose. Unfortunately I haven't gotten those good vibes in a few days.
I am sure that the loneliness is intensified by the fact that my husband has been out of town for weeks for work and I am no longer in San Francisco. But nonetheless I think that there is something more there - some sort of feeling of loss of a part of my life that will never be the same. I guess if you plan a pregnancy and decide it is your time it is a little different because you consciously say that you are ready to move on. And honestly, I have been totally ready to move on for some time. I was feeling a lot of disenchantment and frustration in the often self indulgent nature of our San Francisco lifestyle. That all being said - as I talked to Morgan over the course of this week and he was in San Francisco with all of our dear friends doing all of the things that we love to do I dug myself into a deep dark hole of discontent. I would also like the blame it on the bad weather - maybe the lack of vitamin D can be blamed for my selfishness?
And that is ultimately how I feel, petty and selfish. I have the most amazing thing in the world happening inside of me - I'm growing our child. And there is nothing with greater responsibility or purpose. I know every moment with Thriller will be more wonderful than every night out in my whole life! But I hope that at some point things will calm down and I do get a few more nights or cocoon days with Morgan before the baby comes. Moments that are really ours, our adventure, before the two of us become three. Those moments renew me.
One of the most dramatically different internal emotional dialogues is the back and forth between feeling incredibly lonely or realizing that I am never alone ... little Thriller is with me all the time. The moments of loneliness are accompanied by a sense of loss and confusion whereas the Thriller oriented times have pride, focus and purpose. Unfortunately I haven't gotten those good vibes in a few days.
I am sure that the loneliness is intensified by the fact that my husband has been out of town for weeks for work and I am no longer in San Francisco. But nonetheless I think that there is something more there - some sort of feeling of loss of a part of my life that will never be the same. I guess if you plan a pregnancy and decide it is your time it is a little different because you consciously say that you are ready to move on. And honestly, I have been totally ready to move on for some time. I was feeling a lot of disenchantment and frustration in the often self indulgent nature of our San Francisco lifestyle. That all being said - as I talked to Morgan over the course of this week and he was in San Francisco with all of our dear friends doing all of the things that we love to do I dug myself into a deep dark hole of discontent. I would also like the blame it on the bad weather - maybe the lack of vitamin D can be blamed for my selfishness?
And that is ultimately how I feel, petty and selfish. I have the most amazing thing in the world happening inside of me - I'm growing our child. And there is nothing with greater responsibility or purpose. I know every moment with Thriller will be more wonderful than every night out in my whole life! But I hope that at some point things will calm down and I do get a few more nights or cocoon days with Morgan before the baby comes. Moments that are really ours, our adventure, before the two of us become three. Those moments renew me.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Dance Party with Thriller
I have been able to feel Thriller move around for a few months now. First there were flutters, then sharper movements, then clearing some pounding or kicking from the inside. As previously mentioned, the baby obviously responds to music (specifically the bass) and I have recently noticed that Thriller also responds and starts moving a lot whenever we are in a setting where lots of people are talking.
But last night, we had a new series of rapid movements while I was being totally boring - watching movies and making giant floor pillows for the nursery (yes, that is right, I went to the fabric store and am hand sewing something). Thriller just started going NUTS at about 1 am. Moving around like crazy - this kid has some rhythm.
My only explanation for the stimulus for this movement is that somehow maybe Thriller knew his daddy was dancing away across the country at a Widespread Panic concert at the Fox Theater in Oakland. I know, its a long shot, but the baby hasn't moved this much since we went to go see Panic in Raleigh ... so I wonder if somehow the inspiration was a connection to Morgan. Is that possible? Probably not, but with as much as Morgan has been traveling these past few weeks, I'd sort of like to think so.
But last night, we had a new series of rapid movements while I was being totally boring - watching movies and making giant floor pillows for the nursery (yes, that is right, I went to the fabric store and am hand sewing something). Thriller just started going NUTS at about 1 am. Moving around like crazy - this kid has some rhythm.
My only explanation for the stimulus for this movement is that somehow maybe Thriller knew his daddy was dancing away across the country at a Widespread Panic concert at the Fox Theater in Oakland. I know, its a long shot, but the baby hasn't moved this much since we went to go see Panic in Raleigh ... so I wonder if somehow the inspiration was a connection to Morgan. Is that possible? Probably not, but with as much as Morgan has been traveling these past few weeks, I'd sort of like to think so.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Pediatrician Search
I have been so focused on finding the right doctors for my prenatal care and delivery in Raleigh, that I honestly had not even thought about the importance of finding a pediatrician. At my first appointment with Triangle OB/GYN they could not stress enough how important it was that I start the interview process immediately and I then learned that in order to registered with the Wake Med Birthing Center I also had to have one lined up! And I was already 10 weeks late registering with Wake Med!
And then I learn that the doctors fill up, only taking so many new patients a year, and as I was so behind it might be hard for me to get into anyone good!
I immediately got a stack of business cards from Triangle and started setting up appointments, asking around and checking out online reviews. I was only told by practices that they were not taking patients so that gave me a place to start. I seriously miss Yelp in San Francisco when it comes to times like these! Although there are some pretty decent local resources with reviews, etc. I scheduled my first interview appointment and then realized that I had NO IDEA what to ask about or look for. Luckily Jane (oldest, dearest friend and mother of 2 ... or is it 5?) called me back immediately and started going over the list of interview questions and things to watch out for as I was driving to the interview.
It is a different experience to be in a new town on a doctor search. When I was a child in Tennessee I think that I went to the only pediatrician in Gatlinburg, or at least the one that everyone we knew went to ... and then when we moved to Alabama I never really established a pediatrician. Quite honestly, I wasn't sure what all the fuss was about.
But then I started paying a little more attention and realized the complexity of the pediatric relationship. We are luckily on a PPO so most of the concerns of many parents do not apply to us directly, but if we were on an HMO it would be very different.
Then things started to click ... such as the fact that we want a doctor owned practice as opposed to a practice owned by a large medical network that has really been created to operate within the HMO system. So then even if you have a PPO you are only referred to their internal HMO specialists etc. Wow. This whole conversation about health care is suddenly effecting my life in a different way. I've been lucky enough since we were married to be able to go to any doctor I wanted and not really needed anything special. But when you are thinking about being able to provide the best health care for your child with OPTIONS it is a whole different story.
I am an avid supporter of Health Care reform and a Public Health Care System (the result of being uninsured most of my life and afraid to go to the doctor due to the cost) and I know things are going to be changing. But for now I have to make decisions based on the existing system.
So there is the canvas where we start our search, and I haven't even added the questions or concerns yet! I generally asked about walk in hours, on call systems, specialties, labs, vaccination schedules, use of antibiotics, developmental testing, alternative treatments, etc. Some of the interviews are done in a group whereas other interviews are individual, depending on the practice.
In my first group interview I felt like such the California mom - really I did. The other mothers to be (all first timers) were on an entirely different page. I was a little bit shocked at the lack of concern about the questions I had vs. "Does it cost extra to call in after hours." (Which of course it does not!) One mother to be looked at me and said "Why wouldn't you want to give your child antibiotics whenever it would make them feel better? If your insurance covers it?" and I just wanted to SCREAM "So they will work when the child actually NEEDS THEM for something that won't heal in two days!" Has this woman not read a single article about antibiotics or watched the news over the past 10-15 years? Really?
Luckily the doctor helped me out quickly and explained that it isn't prudent to get antibiotics for ever ear infection as they usually just take a day longer to heal on their own, etc. Needless to say I immediately started liking this doctor, Dr. Erin Wooten of Oberlin Road Pediatrics.
She continued to answer all of my questions in an educated and genuine manner (and with answers that I agreed with, which always helps!). I think I found the right place and at least plan to start at Oberlin Road.
I wonder what this experience would have been like in a small town? Without 2 medical schools and other various medical facilities in the immediate area? Or if I was in Huntsville, would I have just gone with the doctor that all my friends were using? Would I have known to ask these questions? Would it have mattered? Will health care change so much in the next few years that this interview and research process will have been pointless for Thriller's long term care?
It is a strange and ongoing process, getting ready for a baby. Lots to do, lots to learn.
And then I learn that the doctors fill up, only taking so many new patients a year, and as I was so behind it might be hard for me to get into anyone good!
I immediately got a stack of business cards from Triangle and started setting up appointments, asking around and checking out online reviews. I was only told by practices that they were not taking patients so that gave me a place to start. I seriously miss Yelp in San Francisco when it comes to times like these! Although there are some pretty decent local resources with reviews, etc. I scheduled my first interview appointment and then realized that I had NO IDEA what to ask about or look for. Luckily Jane (oldest, dearest friend and mother of 2 ... or is it 5?) called me back immediately and started going over the list of interview questions and things to watch out for as I was driving to the interview.
It is a different experience to be in a new town on a doctor search. When I was a child in Tennessee I think that I went to the only pediatrician in Gatlinburg, or at least the one that everyone we knew went to ... and then when we moved to Alabama I never really established a pediatrician. Quite honestly, I wasn't sure what all the fuss was about.
But then I started paying a little more attention and realized the complexity of the pediatric relationship. We are luckily on a PPO so most of the concerns of many parents do not apply to us directly, but if we were on an HMO it would be very different.
Then things started to click ... such as the fact that we want a doctor owned practice as opposed to a practice owned by a large medical network that has really been created to operate within the HMO system. So then even if you have a PPO you are only referred to their internal HMO specialists etc. Wow. This whole conversation about health care is suddenly effecting my life in a different way. I've been lucky enough since we were married to be able to go to any doctor I wanted and not really needed anything special. But when you are thinking about being able to provide the best health care for your child with OPTIONS it is a whole different story.
I am an avid supporter of Health Care reform and a Public Health Care System (the result of being uninsured most of my life and afraid to go to the doctor due to the cost) and I know things are going to be changing. But for now I have to make decisions based on the existing system.
So there is the canvas where we start our search, and I haven't even added the questions or concerns yet! I generally asked about walk in hours, on call systems, specialties, labs, vaccination schedules, use of antibiotics, developmental testing, alternative treatments, etc. Some of the interviews are done in a group whereas other interviews are individual, depending on the practice.
In my first group interview I felt like such the California mom - really I did. The other mothers to be (all first timers) were on an entirely different page. I was a little bit shocked at the lack of concern about the questions I had vs. "Does it cost extra to call in after hours." (Which of course it does not!) One mother to be looked at me and said "Why wouldn't you want to give your child antibiotics whenever it would make them feel better? If your insurance covers it?" and I just wanted to SCREAM "So they will work when the child actually NEEDS THEM for something that won't heal in two days!" Has this woman not read a single article about antibiotics or watched the news over the past 10-15 years? Really?
Luckily the doctor helped me out quickly and explained that it isn't prudent to get antibiotics for ever ear infection as they usually just take a day longer to heal on their own, etc. Needless to say I immediately started liking this doctor, Dr. Erin Wooten of Oberlin Road Pediatrics.
She continued to answer all of my questions in an educated and genuine manner (and with answers that I agreed with, which always helps!). I think I found the right place and at least plan to start at Oberlin Road.
I wonder what this experience would have been like in a small town? Without 2 medical schools and other various medical facilities in the immediate area? Or if I was in Huntsville, would I have just gone with the doctor that all my friends were using? Would I have known to ask these questions? Would it have mattered? Will health care change so much in the next few years that this interview and research process will have been pointless for Thriller's long term care?
It is a strange and ongoing process, getting ready for a baby. Lots to do, lots to learn.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Getting Ready for Thriller ...
It is common knowledge that the wedding industry has control of whims and wants of brides to be and their families around the world. I did not know, prior to getting pregnant, that the baby industry is in fact as intense if not worse than the wedding industry! And they have a much more serious value proposition: Buy this OR be a bad parent.
Seriously, it has taken me months of virtual nesting, shopping, reading, talking to friends, etc to even begin to get an idea of what is really needed for a newborn. Everyone has a different impression of what works best for them - and there are SO MANY OPTIONS. Every time Morgan and I came to Raleigh to look for houses or for him to work over the summer I would search for the actual store where I could find some answers! Touch, hold, examine and consider. Online shopping has its merits, but it is just not the same.
I went to Baby's R Us. That was disastrous. I was terrified and totally overwhelmed by how much plastic CRAP you "must have" for your baby. (Note all of the plastic crap can be color or patterned coordinated!) The item that struck me the most was the series of plug in or battery powered vibrating chairs or "bouncers." I was told that if you do not have a vibrating chair, your baby will never sleep. You just must have it. WHAT? I walked out of the store totally convinced that if an item was in Baby's R Us, the baby didn't really need it because it all seemed so gross. This was obviously not true, they have some great items at Baby's R Us that are essential and will benefit your child, and a good online selection - but I just can't ever have a reason to go back into that store. Or on their website. I'm afraid.
I went to several local shops in Raleigh, Huntsville and Madison, searching for some clarity on the situation and was continuously turned off by the rude staff, the prices and the stuff ... just stuff ... where is the utility? The necessity? I want Thriller to have everything he/she needs and could even want - but I needed someplace to start that made sense.
Family, friends, articles, online resources and most recently our Bradley class started to tie things together. Morgan and I decided to go with a quality over quantity approach. Research clearly indicates that having an organic sleeping environment is better for the baby, so that gave us a place to start. Similarly we know that avoiding BPA and or PVC is beneficial for the baby - so we have tried to find feeding and other options that are free of these toxins. There are a LOT of online resources that meet our criteria and I feel that we have become educated baby consumers.
There is an online store that is local to Raleigh, called growgreenbaby.com. Finding this resource was nice because it met our criteria for organics and non-toxic AND is locally based. However, I have still been searching for a local shop - a storefront - where I could talk to a person. Where just maybe I could touch something in my hands to see if it felt right - or if the color was actually what it looked like online.
And alas, yesterday I finally found my spot.
GreenPea Nursery (greenpeanursery.com)
Where have you been all my pregnancy?
I had a staff person listen to me, give me options, show me a selection, let me touch things, talk to me about my needs and how to make solutions in the most cost effective manner. I love this store! NOT ONLY does it have an awesome, educated "green" selection of baby products, tons of information about making the healthiest environment for your child, but they actually also offer SERVICE (something that we know is rare). They are online and in person and I love them.
They do not offer everything I need - and I will still rely on our online resources for a great deal - but I feel so confident in what they do have! And in their answers! It is local, tangible, real, and genuine.
Finally, someplace that makes some sense to this consumer. I guess we all have different wants needs and having so many options has totally changed our retail economy. But I was really beginning to feel like the odd mama to be out here - no place to feel good about getting ready for the baby. I just felt guilty for wanting "stuff" and like the entire industry was trying to trick me. I had no confidence in making the right decisions. But no more!
Seriously, it has taken me months of virtual nesting, shopping, reading, talking to friends, etc to even begin to get an idea of what is really needed for a newborn. Everyone has a different impression of what works best for them - and there are SO MANY OPTIONS. Every time Morgan and I came to Raleigh to look for houses or for him to work over the summer I would search for the actual store where I could find some answers! Touch, hold, examine and consider. Online shopping has its merits, but it is just not the same.
I went to Baby's R Us. That was disastrous. I was terrified and totally overwhelmed by how much plastic CRAP you "must have" for your baby. (Note all of the plastic crap can be color or patterned coordinated!) The item that struck me the most was the series of plug in or battery powered vibrating chairs or "bouncers." I was told that if you do not have a vibrating chair, your baby will never sleep. You just must have it. WHAT? I walked out of the store totally convinced that if an item was in Baby's R Us, the baby didn't really need it because it all seemed so gross. This was obviously not true, they have some great items at Baby's R Us that are essential and will benefit your child, and a good online selection - but I just can't ever have a reason to go back into that store. Or on their website. I'm afraid.
I went to several local shops in Raleigh, Huntsville and Madison, searching for some clarity on the situation and was continuously turned off by the rude staff, the prices and the stuff ... just stuff ... where is the utility? The necessity? I want Thriller to have everything he/she needs and could even want - but I needed someplace to start that made sense.
Family, friends, articles, online resources and most recently our Bradley class started to tie things together. Morgan and I decided to go with a quality over quantity approach. Research clearly indicates that having an organic sleeping environment is better for the baby, so that gave us a place to start. Similarly we know that avoiding BPA and or PVC is beneficial for the baby - so we have tried to find feeding and other options that are free of these toxins. There are a LOT of online resources that meet our criteria and I feel that we have become educated baby consumers.
There is an online store that is local to Raleigh, called growgreenbaby.com. Finding this resource was nice because it met our criteria for organics and non-toxic AND is locally based. However, I have still been searching for a local shop - a storefront - where I could talk to a person. Where just maybe I could touch something in my hands to see if it felt right - or if the color was actually what it looked like online.
And alas, yesterday I finally found my spot.
GreenPea Nursery (greenpeanursery.com)
Where have you been all my pregnancy?
I had a staff person listen to me, give me options, show me a selection, let me touch things, talk to me about my needs and how to make solutions in the most cost effective manner. I love this store! NOT ONLY does it have an awesome, educated "green" selection of baby products, tons of information about making the healthiest environment for your child, but they actually also offer SERVICE (something that we know is rare). They are online and in person and I love them.
They do not offer everything I need - and I will still rely on our online resources for a great deal - but I feel so confident in what they do have! And in their answers! It is local, tangible, real, and genuine.
Finally, someplace that makes some sense to this consumer. I guess we all have different wants needs and having so many options has totally changed our retail economy. But I was really beginning to feel like the odd mama to be out here - no place to feel good about getting ready for the baby. I just felt guilty for wanting "stuff" and like the entire industry was trying to trick me. I had no confidence in making the right decisions. But no more!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thriller's 29 1/2 Week Ultrasound
Today I went to Duke's specialty OB/GYN consultant office to have a "Level Two" ultrasound. Okay, doesn't that just sound scary?
After 20 weeks you generally do not have another ultrasound. However, Triangle OB/GYN (new doctors and midwives) wanted to follow up on a calcium deposit noted on the baby's heart at 20 weeks. Our doctor in Virginia assured us it would not be an issue and did not see the need for the "Level Two" but my new doctor just wanted to be sure.
I was very nervous going in and was alone. There might be something wrong. Probably not, but there might be ... this mantra was going through my head for the past week.
Luckily the baby looks totally normal. YAY!
The calcium deposit in the heart has dissipated (just like Dr. George said it would).
Thriller is a whopping 2 pounds and 14 oz. Man do we have a way to go! In the next 73 days Thriller will more than double in size (which I think means I will too).
Currently the baby is still turned in the right direction ... fingers crossed that he/she will stay that way.
And, the specialist doctor who came in to meet with me after the ultrasound not only has wonderful things to say about the doctors at Triangle OB/GYN, but the midwives (who he knew by name) too. It made me feel so good to know that they ALL have such positive reputations in the community.
After 20 weeks you generally do not have another ultrasound. However, Triangle OB/GYN (new doctors and midwives) wanted to follow up on a calcium deposit noted on the baby's heart at 20 weeks. Our doctor in Virginia assured us it would not be an issue and did not see the need for the "Level Two" but my new doctor just wanted to be sure.
I was very nervous going in and was alone. There might be something wrong. Probably not, but there might be ... this mantra was going through my head for the past week.
Luckily the baby looks totally normal. YAY!
The calcium deposit in the heart has dissipated (just like Dr. George said it would).
Thriller is a whopping 2 pounds and 14 oz. Man do we have a way to go! In the next 73 days Thriller will more than double in size (which I think means I will too).
Currently the baby is still turned in the right direction ... fingers crossed that he/she will stay that way.
And, the specialist doctor who came in to meet with me after the ultrasound not only has wonderful things to say about the doctors at Triangle OB/GYN, but the midwives (who he knew by name) too. It made me feel so good to know that they ALL have such positive reputations in the community.
Bradley Classes 1 & 2
The past two Mondays Morgan and I have headed out to our Bradley classes with notebooks, workbooks, pillows and such in arms ... I love our teacher, and literally everyone at my doctors office says she is the best Bradley teacher in the area. The class is an interesting mix of people and I hope that Morgan and I do find some community there.
The first class was very basic, and we learned exercises, etc. It was good to walk through it all in that setting with Morgan as generally it has just been me reading and telling him about what I should be doing. The main focus at the end of the class was to begin our relaxation exercises so we will be able to use the technique when I am in labor. On Sunday Morgan proved, without a doubt, that he will be able to be calm and master any personal stress to help me relax. We were watching the Redskins play the Falcons for what was a pretty terrible football game and I was sitting on the floor in the "tailor position" (yet another politically correct way of saying "Indian style") and he sat behind me and started going through the relaxation exercise and rubbing my back. He made me so calm and meditative that I didn't even know what was going on in the game. When I opened my eyes I realized that we missed another touchdown and there was a fight on the field, all of which would make Morgan crazy generally, but he overcame it to focus on me. Granted, the birth of our child will be more important than the Redskins, but I think the timing made the exercise very effective for both of us.
Last night a massage therapist came to the class and taught our husbands how to massage us during pregnancy and during labor. It was awesome! I've asked for a prenatal massage from her for Christmas ... we will see how that request goes with all of the other expenses we have right now :) And then there was MORE INFORMATION ON BREAST FEEDING. Can't seem to get away from that one. I want to breast feed for as long as possible. God willing, Thriller will never have formula. But I really don't like watching other people do it. I know, I'm supposed to be all open minded and liberal and I am - I just think that a boob and latch close up ... again ... isn't really necessary in my life. I know it'll be different once I meet Thriller and we bond and grow together through the process - but for now, can we please keep the nipple close ups at a minimum? Apparently not. Okay, time to master my fears.
The first class was very basic, and we learned exercises, etc. It was good to walk through it all in that setting with Morgan as generally it has just been me reading and telling him about what I should be doing. The main focus at the end of the class was to begin our relaxation exercises so we will be able to use the technique when I am in labor. On Sunday Morgan proved, without a doubt, that he will be able to be calm and master any personal stress to help me relax. We were watching the Redskins play the Falcons for what was a pretty terrible football game and I was sitting on the floor in the "tailor position" (yet another politically correct way of saying "Indian style") and he sat behind me and started going through the relaxation exercise and rubbing my back. He made me so calm and meditative that I didn't even know what was going on in the game. When I opened my eyes I realized that we missed another touchdown and there was a fight on the field, all of which would make Morgan crazy generally, but he overcame it to focus on me. Granted, the birth of our child will be more important than the Redskins, but I think the timing made the exercise very effective for both of us.
Last night a massage therapist came to the class and taught our husbands how to massage us during pregnancy and during labor. It was awesome! I've asked for a prenatal massage from her for Christmas ... we will see how that request goes with all of the other expenses we have right now :) And then there was MORE INFORMATION ON BREAST FEEDING. Can't seem to get away from that one. I want to breast feed for as long as possible. God willing, Thriller will never have formula. But I really don't like watching other people do it. I know, I'm supposed to be all open minded and liberal and I am - I just think that a boob and latch close up ... again ... isn't really necessary in my life. I know it'll be different once I meet Thriller and we bond and grow together through the process - but for now, can we please keep the nipple close ups at a minimum? Apparently not. Okay, time to master my fears.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Bradley Class - 12 (but my first)
On Monday I went to my first Bradley Method class. For those of you who are not familiar, the Bradley Method is a form of husband (or partner) coached childbirth that encourages natural, drug free delivery. The classes are a serious time commitment as it is a 12 week series.
Because we just landed, I took the 12th class (on breastfeeding) first so I wouldn't miss it due to delivery date. Morgan was in California for work so I had to go by myself. Considering the fact that I have totally been focused on more simple matters, like where we are going to live, I must admit that breastfeeding has not really been on my mind - other than the fact that I intend to breastfeed. And while I know we want to do it for at least 6 months, maybe longer, I have not even considered the logistics associated with it.
Man, are there some logistics! AH! %*#^!
I have a feeling that you probably don't want the details - and I am not sure I want to relive them yet (maybe a little closer to delivery). I did learn that I will need a pillow - or a good chiropractor. I'm opting for the pillow.
I am really looking forward to meeting the rest of my class and having a bit of community to prepare for birthing. The teacher was also very warm, informative and experienced. Several of the couples I met this week are using the same Doctor/Midwife practice and hospital Morgan and I are considering. They all have rave reviews - I hope I will be so impressed next week when I check them out myself.
And to Morgan's credit, while he missed the class on breastfeeding, he is flying back to Raleigh in between two weeks of travel for one night simply to start the Bradley Classes with me. He is the best.
Because we just landed, I took the 12th class (on breastfeeding) first so I wouldn't miss it due to delivery date. Morgan was in California for work so I had to go by myself. Considering the fact that I have totally been focused on more simple matters, like where we are going to live, I must admit that breastfeeding has not really been on my mind - other than the fact that I intend to breastfeed. And while I know we want to do it for at least 6 months, maybe longer, I have not even considered the logistics associated with it.
Man, are there some logistics! AH! %*#^!
I have a feeling that you probably don't want the details - and I am not sure I want to relive them yet (maybe a little closer to delivery). I did learn that I will need a pillow - or a good chiropractor. I'm opting for the pillow.
I am really looking forward to meeting the rest of my class and having a bit of community to prepare for birthing. The teacher was also very warm, informative and experienced. Several of the couples I met this week are using the same Doctor/Midwife practice and hospital Morgan and I are considering. They all have rave reviews - I hope I will be so impressed next week when I check them out myself.
And to Morgan's credit, while he missed the class on breastfeeding, he is flying back to Raleigh in between two weeks of travel for one night simply to start the Bradley Classes with me. He is the best.
WE HAVE A HOME!
Not even sure where to begin... since I last blogged we closed on our first house, moved in (a little) with the help of Joe Morgan (he will be getting the best Uncle of the Year award) and I have started unpacking. My mom is coming up this weekend to help, which is WONDERFUL.
Love the house, although a little overwhelmed with actually having enough space to be organized! After 6 years of cluttered - barely getting by - San Francisco apartment living, being able to spread out is amazing! We are seriously in need of furniture, which I am sure will come and fill in our spaces soon enough.
I will post pictures of the house once I get it a little more organized :)
Love the house, although a little overwhelmed with actually having enough space to be organized! After 6 years of cluttered - barely getting by - San Francisco apartment living, being able to spread out is amazing! We are seriously in need of furniture, which I am sure will come and fill in our spaces soon enough.
I will post pictures of the house once I get it a little more organized :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Tappan - 26 Weeks
October 19, 2006Morgan took this picture this afternoon while we enjoyed the sunset on the bay side of the Eastern Shore from the country club.
I look pretty damn pregnant.
Thriller enjoyed his/her first golfing adventure and the crisp fall air.
Mom & House Update
Every day seems to come with a new experience this fall!
My body is changing very rapidly. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping, but finally had a great nap yesterday in the afternoon with the rain pouring down outside. Those three hours left me with more energy than the past week of "kind of sleeping" through the night. I also got up at 5:30 rather than tossing and turning, and was totally engrossed reading Pat Conroy's South of Broad. I can't bring myself to spring for a body pillow - so I spend every night moving 4 or 5 pillows around trying to make something work. If after we get back to our own bed I still can't settle in well, I might invest in the body pillow - maybe.
Thriller moves around a good bit, but continues to save large movements and kicks for music. Specifically, over the weekend Mike Gordon's baseline caused a large series of kicks and Thriller also started moving rapidly when his/her Granddaddy Ray put on some Opera.
I am also STARVING all of the time now. It really just kicked in. Last week Morgan made me a PB&J (which I usually hate-especially with GRAPE JELLY) and I have been waking up dreaming of them ever since. I can't seem to get the proportions right and only like them when Morgan makes them for me. I have a feeling this might last as a craving. Also eating tons of dill pickles (which is not really abnormal for me to crave, now I am just giving in) and trying to balance all the other major food groups. Eating out of the garden here has been awesome! There is nothing like homegrown organic veggies to make meal.
I have made it through the pregnancy without any falls (knock on wood) - and for those of you that know me you'll appreciate what an accomplishment this is! However, I have noticed that in the past 2 or 3 days I have become exceedingly clumsy. Last night I almost fell over for no reason at all, I was just standing up! It is probably a VERY good thing that Morgan and I will soon be in a one story home rather than living on the third floor. Hopefully some yoga will help me find my center of gravity later today.
On the logistical font, Morgan and I started final repair negotiations on our ALMOST new home in Raleigh today. We are in the throws of wanting to keep our October 22 close date so we can get started moving in, but also wanting to go through the negotiations properly.
Assuming all goes to plan, we will pack up on Tuesday (oh man, that is TOMORROW!) night, leave early Wednesday for a doctor's appointment at 8:00 am in Virginia Beach, drive to Raleigh and close on Thursday morning.
Over the weekend Ann & Ray came to Wachapreague to pass down their Prius, which is awesome! We are so blessed! We need to counteract the carbon footprint of the Great Southern Road Trip in a serious way and as a practical matter will absolutely need another car in Raleigh. Plus the old Infinity is on its way out. Still ticking, but we are not sure for how long...
Thriller will soon be riding Raleigh around in eco-friendly style!
Additionally, we started to get furniture for the ALMOST house. Ann and I went to the Blue Crow Antique Mall (which should you ever been on the Eastern Shore is a MUST SEE) and found two beautiful tables, one dining and one for the living room, at an amazing value. The dining table will compliment the wild cherry cabinets my mom had made for me from Norton Creek cherry when I was a child perfectly. Now we just have to find some chairs! I have a feeling we'll be using camping chairs for a little while.
I do have a sense of our lives starting to come together very rapidly. As a result I went through the chronology of travels and adventures we have had over the summer last night (you'll see the photo posts I'm sure) and maybe for the first time appreciated the chaos and adventure. We will not be able to be so free in a very short time.
My body is changing very rapidly. I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping, but finally had a great nap yesterday in the afternoon with the rain pouring down outside. Those three hours left me with more energy than the past week of "kind of sleeping" through the night. I also got up at 5:30 rather than tossing and turning, and was totally engrossed reading Pat Conroy's South of Broad. I can't bring myself to spring for a body pillow - so I spend every night moving 4 or 5 pillows around trying to make something work. If after we get back to our own bed I still can't settle in well, I might invest in the body pillow - maybe.
Thriller moves around a good bit, but continues to save large movements and kicks for music. Specifically, over the weekend Mike Gordon's baseline caused a large series of kicks and Thriller also started moving rapidly when his/her Granddaddy Ray put on some Opera.
I am also STARVING all of the time now. It really just kicked in. Last week Morgan made me a PB&J (which I usually hate-especially with GRAPE JELLY) and I have been waking up dreaming of them ever since. I can't seem to get the proportions right and only like them when Morgan makes them for me. I have a feeling this might last as a craving. Also eating tons of dill pickles (which is not really abnormal for me to crave, now I am just giving in) and trying to balance all the other major food groups. Eating out of the garden here has been awesome! There is nothing like homegrown organic veggies to make meal.
I have made it through the pregnancy without any falls (knock on wood) - and for those of you that know me you'll appreciate what an accomplishment this is! However, I have noticed that in the past 2 or 3 days I have become exceedingly clumsy. Last night I almost fell over for no reason at all, I was just standing up! It is probably a VERY good thing that Morgan and I will soon be in a one story home rather than living on the third floor. Hopefully some yoga will help me find my center of gravity later today.
On the logistical font, Morgan and I started final repair negotiations on our ALMOST new home in Raleigh today. We are in the throws of wanting to keep our October 22 close date so we can get started moving in, but also wanting to go through the negotiations properly.
Assuming all goes to plan, we will pack up on Tuesday (oh man, that is TOMORROW!) night, leave early Wednesday for a doctor's appointment at 8:00 am in Virginia Beach, drive to Raleigh and close on Thursday morning.
Over the weekend Ann & Ray came to Wachapreague to pass down their Prius, which is awesome! We are so blessed! We need to counteract the carbon footprint of the Great Southern Road Trip in a serious way and as a practical matter will absolutely need another car in Raleigh. Plus the old Infinity is on its way out. Still ticking, but we are not sure for how long...
Thriller will soon be riding Raleigh around in eco-friendly style!
Additionally, we started to get furniture for the ALMOST house. Ann and I went to the Blue Crow Antique Mall (which should you ever been on the Eastern Shore is a MUST SEE) and found two beautiful tables, one dining and one for the living room, at an amazing value. The dining table will compliment the wild cherry cabinets my mom had made for me from Norton Creek cherry when I was a child perfectly. Now we just have to find some chairs! I have a feeling we'll be using camping chairs for a little while.
I do have a sense of our lives starting to come together very rapidly. As a result I went through the chronology of travels and adventures we have had over the summer last night (you'll see the photo posts I'm sure) and maybe for the first time appreciated the chaos and adventure. We will not be able to be so free in a very short time.
October 2009 - Adventures with Thriller
The keys work!
1418 Pineview Drive
Raleigh, NC
Homeowners!
Picking up the keys to our new house.
Raleigh, NC
Morgan -
Our last sunset cruise!
Off of the Eastern Shore of Virginia
Tappan & Morgan
Widespread Panic/Allman Brother's Concert
Walnut Creek
Raleigh, NC
Joe & Morgan
Widespread Panic/Allman Brother's Concert
Walnut Creek
Raleigh, NC
Widespread Panic/Allman Brother's Concert
Walnut Creek
Raleigh, NC
Tappan & Morgan
Swimming Hole (Where Tappan learned to swim)
Elkmont, TN
Great Southern Road Trip
Mom, Tappan, Gussie & Cooper
#19, Camp Comfort
Elkmont, TN
Great Southern Road Trip
Cooper & Gussie
On the way to Elkmont, TN
Great Southern Road Trip
Tappan & Morgan
Ashley & Thomas' Wedding!
Rosemary Beach, FL
Great Southern Road Trip
Kat, Jennifer, Sarah Kathryn, Boo, Tappan & Julie
Ashley & Thomas' Wedding!
Rosemary Beach, FL
Great Southern Road Trip
Mr. & Dr. Norris
Ashley & Thomas' Wedding!
Rosemary Beach, FL
Great Southern Road Trip
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