A year or so before I got pregnant I was talking to a friend with a beautiful baby girl and breast feeding came up. She told me that she breast fed her baby until she was a little over two years old. My friend was actually disappointed because she didn't nurse for longer... I have to admit that my first reaction was shock - I was taken back by the length of breast feeding and thought to myself that that was weird and unnecessary. I meaningfully joined in the school of thought that believes that once a baby can walk or talk they are far to old to continue to breast feed.
After I became pregnant and started to research breast feeding I had a slight change of heart, at least understanding the science behind the benefits of breast feeding your baby as long as possible. But I was still sort of weirded out by the concept. I knew I wanted to breast feed for at least 6 months and hopefully a year for health benefits - but I couldn't imagine what it would be like, nor was I particularly interested in learning about it. About a month before I was due I figured I better suck it up and get informed. During this crash course on breast feeding and a second Bradley class dedicated to the subject I started to get a little excited about being able to provide everything my baby would need! The science behind breast milk is really amazing and interesting!
24 weeks later I have made it easily to the 6 month mark and happily look forward to another 6 months or more of breast feeding. It has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I had it easy, the only struggle we had was that it took 24 hours longer than expected for my milk to come in. Raymond had been so easy to nurse and I haven't struggled with supply (knock on wood). I know many women who have struggled and either moved on to formula because it works for them or who have spent countless frustrating days and weeks making breast feeding work. It is a lifestyle choice that requires determination and dedication. I feel blessed to have had this experience!
People comment that breast feeding is an amazing time to "bond with your baby." And that is totally true. I don't feel like that phrase even begins to cover it. In some ways I feel like it is a totally primal experience - when your body and your baby's instincts meet without thought or reason and nourish you both. The baby get everything it needs and your body releases hormones that help you relax. I might even call it primal meditation.
Now Raymond is starting to move into eating "solid" foods. He has had rice cereal, sweet potatoes, squash, hummus, sweet peas and avocado. The more I read about the introduction of food into the diet I realize that there are two schools of thought - one is that you start to ween the baby off of breast milk through the other foods and the other that you are introducing the solids to give the baby an opportunity to develop a taste for foods at a young age. When we started preparing to introduce the food it did not even occur to me that we would be weening him - and it still doesn't. My approach to all of this is that he will make the right choices for his body when he is ready. We are just providing exposure.
I have really enjoyed planning and making the baby food as well. It is a pretty amazing concept, to give your child their first flavors and tastes of food. And I continue to breast feed on demand. I think it may have dropped off a bit but was are not on any kind of schedule nor have I kept track since the first month passed.
We will see how long I breast feed - I am confident that it will easily be at least a year. Maybe longer. Maybe two.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
E Coli
I have a love/hate relationship with bacteria. There are a lot of good bacteria in the world that we need and depend on in our lives. For this reason I try to stay off antibiotics and as a general rule don’t bug out with anti-bacterial soaps, hand sanitizers, etc. My theory is always to be cautious, clean and thoughtful and you’ll stay healthy.
And then there are the BAD bacteria. The bacteria that made me terribly ill on my honeymoon, made scales appear all over my face, that caused a staph infection in my armpit and most recently the evil awful terrible E Coli that gave my baby boy a bladder infection. I HATE that E Coli.
Twelve days ago Raymond’s low grade teething fever spiked and his fussiness turned to something much more serious. Once again I found myself at my pediatrician’s office at 7:00 am for walk-in hours. This time around I thought I might be being overly cautious. Maybe this was just extreme teething and they were going to tell me not to worry. Or at least that is what I was mentally trying to rationalize while all of my mother instincts were totally freaking out.
We went through it all, the symptoms, the exam and finally the dreaded finger prick. After squeezing Raymond’s finger dry the doctor (who I love, btw) came back in to report that his white blood cell count was very high (a “20”) and as the ears, nose and throat were all clear that left us with one other option, his bladder. The only way to check was via catheter. I held my baby boy and covered him with kisses for the two or three minutes it took them to extract some urine and felt like the most evil terrible mother in the world. He of course bounced back right afterwards and was not at all upset.
We had to wait about 15 minutes for the results – so I nursed Raymond and played with him and generally he seemed to be feeling a lot better. Again my mind was thinking I put us through all of this unnecessarily.
The doctor walked back in again with a grave expression on her face. There was blood in his urine and an even higher white blood cell count. We had to wait until the next morning for the official culture results but alas we knew – bladder infection. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Bladder infections can quickly reach the kidneys which is the primary concern for safety reasons – as such there is no way to avoid the use of antibiotics. Damn it. We started treatment immediately and I also started supplementing with some pro-biotics on the advice of baby nurse extraordinaire, Aunt Carol Vickery. Raymond has two days left of the antibiotics and seems to be doing quite well.
I, on the other hand, have put myself through and through the ringer about how my baby boy could get E Coli. I have talked to two nurses and three doctors all of which have told me that it just happens and I can’t put this on myself. I have blamed myself for not keeping the dog away from Raymond, for not washing his hands more, for kissing his fingers, for letting the bottle serialization area in our kitchen get too close to the food prep. And it goes on and on.
Most notably I mistakenly let myself get taken in by some dumb internet site that said it was my fault for not circumcising Raymond. I have since done much more credible research and checked with every doctor I know to confirm that this was not the cause. (On this point I would like to make a side note that everyone I consulted advised me that while there is a slightly higher correlation between uncircumcised boys under one year of age to bladder infections it is not the cause and in fact the lifelong average of bladder infections in uncircumcised males is significantly less. I was also told across the board by everyone I consulted that the lifelong health benefits to the male are so great when not circumcised that whatever correlation exists to infant bladder infections is inconsequential in comparison. My question to you all then is WHY DON’T THEY TELL ALL PARENTS ABOUT ALL THE HEALTH BENEFITS WHEN THEY ARE DECIDEING WHAT TO DO? Passing out at pamphlet is one thing, but actually hearing it from the doctor is another. Still too touchy of a subject I guess.)
Next week I have to take Raymond to have an ultrasound of his kidneys as there is a slight chance that he may have an enlarged kidney that is the cause of his infection. Again blaming myself for anything I could have done in my life to mess up my reproductive organs so he might have a kidney irregularity. We also have to do another catheter to make sure the urine is all clear of infection.
If he gets a second bladder infection then we will have to have more invasive testing done. God willing that won’t happen.
In the meantime I am scrubbing down my house at every turn and making my husband crazy with all of my newly instituted mania. Earlier this week he asked if it was still possible for me to just sit and take a breather as I seem to either been tending to Raymond or cleaning something. Obviously - Morgan is right - I can’t sit down very easily. I don’t think I’ll be able to do so until I know my baby boy is really okay.
And then there are the BAD bacteria. The bacteria that made me terribly ill on my honeymoon, made scales appear all over my face, that caused a staph infection in my armpit and most recently the evil awful terrible E Coli that gave my baby boy a bladder infection. I HATE that E Coli.
Twelve days ago Raymond’s low grade teething fever spiked and his fussiness turned to something much more serious. Once again I found myself at my pediatrician’s office at 7:00 am for walk-in hours. This time around I thought I might be being overly cautious. Maybe this was just extreme teething and they were going to tell me not to worry. Or at least that is what I was mentally trying to rationalize while all of my mother instincts were totally freaking out.
We went through it all, the symptoms, the exam and finally the dreaded finger prick. After squeezing Raymond’s finger dry the doctor (who I love, btw) came back in to report that his white blood cell count was very high (a “20”) and as the ears, nose and throat were all clear that left us with one other option, his bladder. The only way to check was via catheter. I held my baby boy and covered him with kisses for the two or three minutes it took them to extract some urine and felt like the most evil terrible mother in the world. He of course bounced back right afterwards and was not at all upset.
We had to wait about 15 minutes for the results – so I nursed Raymond and played with him and generally he seemed to be feeling a lot better. Again my mind was thinking I put us through all of this unnecessarily.
The doctor walked back in again with a grave expression on her face. There was blood in his urine and an even higher white blood cell count. We had to wait until the next morning for the official culture results but alas we knew – bladder infection. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
Bladder infections can quickly reach the kidneys which is the primary concern for safety reasons – as such there is no way to avoid the use of antibiotics. Damn it. We started treatment immediately and I also started supplementing with some pro-biotics on the advice of baby nurse extraordinaire, Aunt Carol Vickery. Raymond has two days left of the antibiotics and seems to be doing quite well.
I, on the other hand, have put myself through and through the ringer about how my baby boy could get E Coli. I have talked to two nurses and three doctors all of which have told me that it just happens and I can’t put this on myself. I have blamed myself for not keeping the dog away from Raymond, for not washing his hands more, for kissing his fingers, for letting the bottle serialization area in our kitchen get too close to the food prep. And it goes on and on.
Most notably I mistakenly let myself get taken in by some dumb internet site that said it was my fault for not circumcising Raymond. I have since done much more credible research and checked with every doctor I know to confirm that this was not the cause. (On this point I would like to make a side note that everyone I consulted advised me that while there is a slightly higher correlation between uncircumcised boys under one year of age to bladder infections it is not the cause and in fact the lifelong average of bladder infections in uncircumcised males is significantly less. I was also told across the board by everyone I consulted that the lifelong health benefits to the male are so great when not circumcised that whatever correlation exists to infant bladder infections is inconsequential in comparison. My question to you all then is WHY DON’T THEY TELL ALL PARENTS ABOUT ALL THE HEALTH BENEFITS WHEN THEY ARE DECIDEING WHAT TO DO? Passing out at pamphlet is one thing, but actually hearing it from the doctor is another. Still too touchy of a subject I guess.)
Next week I have to take Raymond to have an ultrasound of his kidneys as there is a slight chance that he may have an enlarged kidney that is the cause of his infection. Again blaming myself for anything I could have done in my life to mess up my reproductive organs so he might have a kidney irregularity. We also have to do another catheter to make sure the urine is all clear of infection.
If he gets a second bladder infection then we will have to have more invasive testing done. God willing that won’t happen.
In the meantime I am scrubbing down my house at every turn and making my husband crazy with all of my newly instituted mania. Earlier this week he asked if it was still possible for me to just sit and take a breather as I seem to either been tending to Raymond or cleaning something. Obviously - Morgan is right - I can’t sit down very easily. I don’t think I’ll be able to do so until I know my baby boy is really okay.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Great Diaper Delima
Like everything with pregnancy and child raising, you can find someone who will say anything about diaper choices to back up or justify your diaper practice. But when it comes down to it there really is no perfect way to diaper.
I think there are two absolutes: (1) Diapers are without question the second largest contributor to landfills around the world. (2) Human waste, when left untreated, is without question absolutely terrible for the environment.
But is it better if you only breast feed? If you only feed organic baby food? What about the effect of the treatment plants on the earth? What about cloth, chlorine free, latex free? What about water problems where I live? Forget the planet, what is best for my baby's health? The never ending series of questions goes on and on ... AND .. pick your choice or your poison, there is a study or a blog or some other seemingly credible source to back it up.
When I was pregnant Morgan and I started sifting through the massive amount of information about diapering and decided to go with cloth diapers at home and disposable whenever we were out or traveling. We have stuck to this plan pretty well - in 21 weeks of Raymond's life I have used 9 packages of 7th Generation Diapers (approx $99) and cloth diapers the rest of the time (total investment $150 so far). Our investment in cloth has certainly paid for itself and I have not had a problem with cleaning them. I use liners that are totally biodegradable between the bottom and the cloth and flush those along with any #2 waste. If the waste overflows then I use our nifty sprayer to rinse any excess off and flush it. I wash the diapers as soon as I run out of covers, about once every 6 days, with a few drops of Tee Tree Oil to act as an anti fungal. They always come out clean and I have no feeling that my washer is poopy, which was my fear. I am sure there is some reside of poop in our brown water, but I do not think it much more than some folk's skid marks would leave behind. (hehe skid marks).
I do use disposable (chlorine and latex free) diapers whenever we are traveling, going out, and when Raymond is sleeping. (And I am much less likely to "knock out" the poop with a disposable. I suck.) Simply because it is easier. And for many people that is what it comes down too - what will work in their lifestyle. Many of us live in areas with totally different environmental challenges so it makes sense that we would make alternate decisions regarding the best way to diaper for the world.
But the point blank truth of it all is that is is gross - not so much gross for us to deal with our child's poop - but gross for the world. Personally I am a little better knowing that at least 50% of our diaper waste isn't going into a landfill - but that is what works for me. There is definitely no right answer.
I think there are two absolutes: (1) Diapers are without question the second largest contributor to landfills around the world. (2) Human waste, when left untreated, is without question absolutely terrible for the environment.
But is it better if you only breast feed? If you only feed organic baby food? What about the effect of the treatment plants on the earth? What about cloth, chlorine free, latex free? What about water problems where I live? Forget the planet, what is best for my baby's health? The never ending series of questions goes on and on ... AND .. pick your choice or your poison, there is a study or a blog or some other seemingly credible source to back it up.
When I was pregnant Morgan and I started sifting through the massive amount of information about diapering and decided to go with cloth diapers at home and disposable whenever we were out or traveling. We have stuck to this plan pretty well - in 21 weeks of Raymond's life I have used 9 packages of 7th Generation Diapers (approx $99) and cloth diapers the rest of the time (total investment $150 so far). Our investment in cloth has certainly paid for itself and I have not had a problem with cleaning them. I use liners that are totally biodegradable between the bottom and the cloth and flush those along with any #2 waste. If the waste overflows then I use our nifty sprayer to rinse any excess off and flush it. I wash the diapers as soon as I run out of covers, about once every 6 days, with a few drops of Tee Tree Oil to act as an anti fungal. They always come out clean and I have no feeling that my washer is poopy, which was my fear. I am sure there is some reside of poop in our brown water, but I do not think it much more than some folk's skid marks would leave behind. (hehe skid marks).
I do use disposable (chlorine and latex free) diapers whenever we are traveling, going out, and when Raymond is sleeping. (And I am much less likely to "knock out" the poop with a disposable. I suck.) Simply because it is easier. And for many people that is what it comes down too - what will work in their lifestyle. Many of us live in areas with totally different environmental challenges so it makes sense that we would make alternate decisions regarding the best way to diaper for the world.
But the point blank truth of it all is that is is gross - not so much gross for us to deal with our child's poop - but gross for the world. Personally I am a little better knowing that at least 50% of our diaper waste isn't going into a landfill - but that is what works for me. There is definitely no right answer.
Mamma Chi - Follow Up
As I previously mentioned, motherhood has changed my perspective on taking care of me. It would be a total lie to claim that I have ever found inter peace through yoga or meditation. I have never had the patience to perfect my practice. As a child and into my teens I did find a great deal of peace through the ritual of church and church camp, but those days are long gone. For as long as I can remember - in all the phases of my life - I have found my soul through music. And after a four night Phish run I am totally revived.
Last summer I caught 6 or 7 shows while I was pregnant and had a really good time, affirming the fact that my enjoyment had nothing to do with the party but instead with the music. However, I believe that in 2009 Phish and I were both guarded - Phish 2009 was busy trying to hit all the notes and I was busy trying to catch them - and tune out all the party I was missing around me as the pregnant SOBER driver, etc. Phish 2010 finds us both in a very different place. I am so happy to be here - to have let down the guard and the concerns and let in the music -
Despite the bruises covering my legs from dancing so hard in the seats, my chi is flowing smoothly and fruitfully. Thank God for Rock 'n Roll and Phamily, all along the way.
Last summer I caught 6 or 7 shows while I was pregnant and had a really good time, affirming the fact that my enjoyment had nothing to do with the party but instead with the music. However, I believe that in 2009 Phish and I were both guarded - Phish 2009 was busy trying to hit all the notes and I was busy trying to catch them - and tune out all the party I was missing around me as the pregnant SOBER driver, etc. Phish 2010 finds us both in a very different place. I am so happy to be here - to have let down the guard and the concerns and let in the music -
Despite the bruises covering my legs from dancing so hard in the seats, my chi is flowing smoothly and fruitfully. Thank God for Rock 'n Roll and Phamily, all along the way.
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