In North Carolina yesterday was the "calm before the storm." There was a high of 65 degrees and it could not have been more beautiful outside which was lovely considering that it is below freezing today and we are looking forward to another week or so of very cold temperatures.
Morgan had a full day and then got us outside. We drove to Chapel Hill to check out a new disc golf course right on campus. This particular course used to be a golf course and it is long and beautiful. We jumped in on the back 9 and Morgan started chatting it up with a very nice guy on the course, and the next thing I new Cooper and I were trailing behind playing in the woods while the boys were going after the course. I personally don't like to throw with other folks because I am so terrible and I needed to entertain Cooper as he is a total freak on the course.
It was a nice walk, lots of hills, etc. I knew that I was only good for 9 holes based on the length of the course and the fact that we had dinner plans at Morgan's cousin Erin's house. However, we did not realize that when we came to the end of the course we would be so far away from where we were parked. Our nice new friend gave us directions and Morgan, Cooper and I trotted away to find our way back to the car and to Erin's house.
The ground along our walk was literally a swamp - muddy as it could be. My shoes were covered in mud, my dog was covered in mud and my jeans were covered in about 3 inches of mud at the bottom. Needless to say our leisurely walk had turned into a complete mess - and in my mind here we are about to go to a dinner party! I was not pleased, but Morgan was keeping me smiling and laughing at our "bog" just the same. I thought I saw a dryer way to walk in the woods, and in my attempt to cut across along the edge of the fairway my shoe got stuck in the mud and came off and now I also had wet, muddy socks. Lovely.
We saw a bridge and dry path and thought we should get on it - although we realized that it would turn us around and take us off the course. We thought we had no choice. We slowly started back up the hill on the dry path and images of what would happen if my water broke and we were lost in the woods at sundown with no jackets and really no idea where we even were started to enter our heads. At this point we look through the woods and see our new friend, who was playing the rest of the course, looking curiously at us and I am sure wondering where in the hell we are going.
On our walk bak down to meet him and get better directions Morgan gets me laughing so hard that my stomach starts to cramp and I start throwing up, which makes me laugh even more because I become convinced that I might actually go into a very muddy labor! Morgan keeps it going, suggesting that he could have delivered Thriller into his fleece vest and then he would have made millions writing a book about the experience.
We meet our new friend in the bog and realize that we were only about 100 yards from the parking lot that whole time. More laughter. More puking. More cramping.
We had to cancel dinner with Erin as by this point I was really a total mess and feeling pretty bad from all the puking and cramping. I did let myself get excited, however, thinking that this could be it! Our car ride home was very uncomfortable and I was getting very hopeful! But alas, we came home and the cramping and puking subsided and there is no baby Thriller.
We go and see the doctor later this morning and I'll find out if that cramping meant anything as far as dilation goes!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Thriller Watch Update
Yesterday we went into the DR for a stress test, fluid measuring and exam ... and more importantly to figure out what the next steps are IF I do not go into labor. Initially Triangle told us they would let us go approx 10 days after the due date - but it was clear that there could be a few days here or there based on the situation and considering that we know my ovulation date is off as I quite my birth control in the middle of a cycle/package and was pregnant 10 days later. I have felt confident that if we got to this point we would be able to do what is best and not be pushed around.
That all being said, I was extremely anxious going into the doctor yesterday. I had a terrible dream, was up at 6 am in tears, and generally just really worried. We got to the office and we went into the stress test - basically I laid back in a giant recliner and had probes belted onto me. I could see the monitor and print out from where I was sitting and could hear the baby's heart beat in the room. The heart beat was the best part! However, the print out was depressing. The top line represented contractions, and it was flat as flat could be, but at least it was accompanied by the baby's heartbeat on the second line, which was strong and healthy.
Morgan was there with me and decided it would be a good time to try some relaxation exercises from our Bradley class as the whole thing was making me so on edge. He was right, and just as we were about to turn to violet in our meditation sequence Dr. V walked in to check on us and move us to another room, suggesting calmly as we moved over that it was probably time to bite the bullet and talk about induction.
I completely froze. I had so much to say - so many questions - ideas - etc but I lost them all. Dr. V is super mellow, easy to talk to, listens, not judgmental - pretty much I just really trust and like him. And I lost my nerve to start using all of the skills we have learned in Bradley and all of the knowledge we have gathered to be able to talk about what we want. Luckily my dear husband did not.
Dr. V checked the fluid levels and placenta via ultrasound and then did my exam - no progress from the past 2 to 3 weeks - still effaced, still ripe, still a fingertip dilated. Then he left for me to get dressed again and came back in to chat with us about our plan. Morgan asked all the questions and talked to him about our hopes and got us a full 2 weeks past the due date so we are scheduled to go in next week. I was a deer caught in headlights. Good doctor, tell me what to do. Jesus, you would NOT think I had not spent the past nine months preparing for this!
After Morgan and Dr. V worked out the details and the appointment was made with the hospital Dr. V looked directly at me and softly asked "I know you have questions" and then I was slowly able to start talking again.
So the plan is as follows:
(Hopefully go into labor on my own)
IF NOT then,
7:30 PM on Wed Feb 3 check into WakeMed Cary
Have Foley Bulb Inset - basically a bulb is put into my cervix and air is blown in to try and open it up some more
Spend the night at the hospital, maybe go into labor :)
6:00 AM on Thurs Feb 4 - Foley Bulb removed (unless it has fallen out), water broken, pitocin started
Hopefully have the baby before approx 10 pm, after 10 pm start thinking about c-section
Okay. Not what we want to happen, but all things being equal, pretty much the best back up plan we could possibly ask for. I feel totally confident in the support of my Dr, which is key, and trust him completely. I feel totally confident in my coach - Morgan really came through yesterday as such a knowledgeable and great communicator! Feeling his support and the fact that he is so in tune with me to know when to step in and take over (note that I generally have a hard time letting go control) makes me know that once we get into labor, whenever or however that happens, all I have to do is focus on me and Thriller and Morgan will be able to take care of everything else.
I feel relaxed and supported and loved. All and all not a bad place to be. Maybe this state of mind will kick in my labor!
That all being said, I was extremely anxious going into the doctor yesterday. I had a terrible dream, was up at 6 am in tears, and generally just really worried. We got to the office and we went into the stress test - basically I laid back in a giant recliner and had probes belted onto me. I could see the monitor and print out from where I was sitting and could hear the baby's heart beat in the room. The heart beat was the best part! However, the print out was depressing. The top line represented contractions, and it was flat as flat could be, but at least it was accompanied by the baby's heartbeat on the second line, which was strong and healthy.
Morgan was there with me and decided it would be a good time to try some relaxation exercises from our Bradley class as the whole thing was making me so on edge. He was right, and just as we were about to turn to violet in our meditation sequence Dr. V walked in to check on us and move us to another room, suggesting calmly as we moved over that it was probably time to bite the bullet and talk about induction.
I completely froze. I had so much to say - so many questions - ideas - etc but I lost them all. Dr. V is super mellow, easy to talk to, listens, not judgmental - pretty much I just really trust and like him. And I lost my nerve to start using all of the skills we have learned in Bradley and all of the knowledge we have gathered to be able to talk about what we want. Luckily my dear husband did not.
Dr. V checked the fluid levels and placenta via ultrasound and then did my exam - no progress from the past 2 to 3 weeks - still effaced, still ripe, still a fingertip dilated. Then he left for me to get dressed again and came back in to chat with us about our plan. Morgan asked all the questions and talked to him about our hopes and got us a full 2 weeks past the due date so we are scheduled to go in next week. I was a deer caught in headlights. Good doctor, tell me what to do. Jesus, you would NOT think I had not spent the past nine months preparing for this!
After Morgan and Dr. V worked out the details and the appointment was made with the hospital Dr. V looked directly at me and softly asked "I know you have questions" and then I was slowly able to start talking again.
So the plan is as follows:
(Hopefully go into labor on my own)
IF NOT then,
7:30 PM on Wed Feb 3 check into WakeMed Cary
Have Foley Bulb Inset - basically a bulb is put into my cervix and air is blown in to try and open it up some more
Spend the night at the hospital, maybe go into labor :)
6:00 AM on Thurs Feb 4 - Foley Bulb removed (unless it has fallen out), water broken, pitocin started
Hopefully have the baby before approx 10 pm, after 10 pm start thinking about c-section
Okay. Not what we want to happen, but all things being equal, pretty much the best back up plan we could possibly ask for. I feel totally confident in the support of my Dr, which is key, and trust him completely. I feel totally confident in my coach - Morgan really came through yesterday as such a knowledgeable and great communicator! Feeling his support and the fact that he is so in tune with me to know when to step in and take over (note that I generally have a hard time letting go control) makes me know that once we get into labor, whenever or however that happens, all I have to do is focus on me and Thriller and Morgan will be able to take care of everything else.
I feel relaxed and supported and loved. All and all not a bad place to be. Maybe this state of mind will kick in my labor!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Bradley Class 12 (again)
Morgan and I went back to our Bradley class last night, despite the fact that I went to the last class in the previous series and I am so glad we did! For several reasons. (1) I totally wasn't prepared for the breast feeding class 14 weeks ago so I got a lot more out of it this time around. (2) We had a lactation consultant, a Le Leche League leader and a PhD candidate in nutrition all come to talk to us about breast feeding so it was VERY INFORMATIVE. (3) The dinner/pot luck party a a great way to chat and really feel connected to the community around the class and feel like we have a support system going forward. (4) Morgan got to practice diapering and swaddling a baby doll, which was pretty much the cutest thing ever.
OKAY, now I just need to go into labor!
OKAY, now I just need to go into labor!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Today was not the day ...
Well, I was hopeful. Last night Cooper and Ophelia totally bugged out and would not leave me alone. Ophelia started running into the nursery and meowing frantically all night. They both came into the bathroom and stared at me at the same time while I was taking a bath - Ophelia even jumped up on the edge of the tub. And of course I think started over analyzing everything that was going on inside my body and realized that I was having some mild cramping. We fell asleep to Thriller moving around at a rapid pace and as he/she was hitting me all over I had the slightest glimmer of hope in the back of my mind that maybe it wasn't the baby moving around but rather my uterus moving around.
No such luck.
And then today was my first due date.
And it is Poppy's birthday.
We wanted it to be today.
Maybe tomorrow. Morgan thinks late next week. We'll see ...
I told Thriller not to rush this morning, he/she will be rushed through everything in life, if they need more time - take it! Just don't make me have a c-section or induction, please!
No such luck.
And then today was my first due date.
And it is Poppy's birthday.
We wanted it to be today.
Maybe tomorrow. Morgan thinks late next week. We'll see ...
I told Thriller not to rush this morning, he/she will be rushed through everything in life, if they need more time - take it! Just don't make me have a c-section or induction, please!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Countdown 00:00:00, Still No Thriller
If you are an avid reader of the Thriller News Filler, you might have noticed that we have had a countdown clock at the bottom of the blog. Every day I have faithfully scrolled down to see how many days, hours and minutes it is until the due date with anticipation that today would somehow mean something. On Tuesday when I went to the doctor it was apparent that I would likely not deliver today - but I have still been holding out some hope - especially as I know our favorite midwife is on call today. As the day goes on, however, reality has set in. I am probably not going to meet Thriller today - or even tomorrow - and life must go on.
In my next doctor's appointment on Tuesday I have to do a stress test to make sure that Thriller is still okay. As long as the baby does not show signs of stress we carry on - and can go until 1/31 without facing pitocin. Initially, a pitocin induced labor was one of the things I wanted to avoid the most - as it often leads to so many other interventions and can put the baby under stress. However, in the past weeks we have had 3 birth stories from other Bradley couples - all of which had to induce, all of which were able to still have pain medication free births, all of which were at the same hospital where we will be and so forth. The reality of this being a possibility is slowly setting in and I think we will be okay if that is what we are faced with. I would be most disappointed, however, if I have to have a c-section. The reality there is that doctors, midwives, birth centers, etc don't want to do VBACs and I would never have the opportunity to experience a truly natural birth if we get to that point. So fingers crossed we can avoid a c-section, even if pitocin becomes a reality we have to deal with.
There are many other avenues for drug free induction that we will pursue prior to getting to that point, but I want to wait until next week after the stress test and our next doctors appointment to begin the aggressive options.
Right now Morgan is betting on January 23, his Poppy's birthday. I like it! The 23rd was also my initial due date according to the midwives in California - so ... maybe, just maybe, that is when little Thriller will come out into the open!
In my next doctor's appointment on Tuesday I have to do a stress test to make sure that Thriller is still okay. As long as the baby does not show signs of stress we carry on - and can go until 1/31 without facing pitocin. Initially, a pitocin induced labor was one of the things I wanted to avoid the most - as it often leads to so many other interventions and can put the baby under stress. However, in the past weeks we have had 3 birth stories from other Bradley couples - all of which had to induce, all of which were able to still have pain medication free births, all of which were at the same hospital where we will be and so forth. The reality of this being a possibility is slowly setting in and I think we will be okay if that is what we are faced with. I would be most disappointed, however, if I have to have a c-section. The reality there is that doctors, midwives, birth centers, etc don't want to do VBACs and I would never have the opportunity to experience a truly natural birth if we get to that point. So fingers crossed we can avoid a c-section, even if pitocin becomes a reality we have to deal with.
There are many other avenues for drug free induction that we will pursue prior to getting to that point, but I want to wait until next week after the stress test and our next doctors appointment to begin the aggressive options.
Right now Morgan is betting on January 23, his Poppy's birthday. I like it! The 23rd was also my initial due date according to the midwives in California - so ... maybe, just maybe, that is when little Thriller will come out into the open!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Bradley Class 11
As you may recall, if you have been following my Bradley blogging, that this is really class 12 for me as I took the last class on breast feeding first due to my due date. I am not sure if we will go again next week - obviously the first reason not to go would be because Thriller has arrived (please please please please) and the second being that I have already taken the class. We would really like to come because it is a party and to end our "journey" with the 8 couples we have been taking the class with for the past several months
The intersection of people interested in the Bradley method creates a very unique class dynamic. There are those who are older, quiet and more reserved, younger liberal looking couples, couples where the husbands are just there because the wife wants to do natural birthing and others couples where the husband is just as engaged (maybe too engaged?) in the process as the wife and so forth. All and all a pretty socially awkward scene. By the end of 12 weeks, however, we might not know each other's last names but we have broken down a lot of barriers and formed a loose community of first time parents stepping out into the next, amazing phase of life.
Last night we had a couple who took the last series and currently have an adorable 11 week old baby boy come and share their birth experience. I was very moved by their story and dedication. Throughout the course of their pregnancy they did not believe they would be able to have a vaginal birth because the mom had a low placenta. But she was totally dedicated to the hope that the placenta would move and she would be able to give her baby a natural birth. She took all the classes and prepared herself and her husband with no rational reason to think she would be able to have a natural birth - just hope. And low and behold just weeks before her due date her placenta shifted simply 3 cn which enabled her to realize the joy of birthing.
In class last night she said she felt very blessed to be able to experience the process of giving birth to their child as her body was made, something that would have been robbed of her if she had been forced into a c-section for this birth and thus for any future children they might have.
Wow, right? What a statement - what a story - so much strength and faith is show in this woman and her husband that they did not give up on their birthing experience. I know I feel inspired.
The intersection of people interested in the Bradley method creates a very unique class dynamic. There are those who are older, quiet and more reserved, younger liberal looking couples, couples where the husbands are just there because the wife wants to do natural birthing and others couples where the husband is just as engaged (maybe too engaged?) in the process as the wife and so forth. All and all a pretty socially awkward scene. By the end of 12 weeks, however, we might not know each other's last names but we have broken down a lot of barriers and formed a loose community of first time parents stepping out into the next, amazing phase of life.
Last night we had a couple who took the last series and currently have an adorable 11 week old baby boy come and share their birth experience. I was very moved by their story and dedication. Throughout the course of their pregnancy they did not believe they would be able to have a vaginal birth because the mom had a low placenta. But she was totally dedicated to the hope that the placenta would move and she would be able to give her baby a natural birth. She took all the classes and prepared herself and her husband with no rational reason to think she would be able to have a natural birth - just hope. And low and behold just weeks before her due date her placenta shifted simply 3 cn which enabled her to realize the joy of birthing.
In class last night she said she felt very blessed to be able to experience the process of giving birth to their child as her body was made, something that would have been robbed of her if she had been forced into a c-section for this birth and thus for any future children they might have.
Wow, right? What a statement - what a story - so much strength and faith is show in this woman and her husband that they did not give up on their birthing experience. I know I feel inspired.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Paternity Leave
SunPower, a California Company, offers up to 6 weeks of family leave to mothers and fathers at 80% pay in accordance with the law. Morgan went through the approval process for the leave, only planning to take 3 weeks off, and we have been planning on enjoying the time together bonding with Thriller.
However, he decided to call his HR contact to confirm exactly how much his paycheck would be hit and how benefits, etc would be effected. Thank GOD he did.
The "paid family leave" is covered by Prudential (like disability insurance) and not through the company directly. Prudential will only offer coverage for family leave in states where there is a legal requirement - and despite the fact that Morgan WORKS for a California company, because we live in North Carolina where there is no legal paternity leave requirement there is no coverage.
Therefore he does not get any time off surrounding the birth of our child. He can maybe take unpaid or sick days while I am in the hospital but that is it.
Okay. Obviously this is a bullshit situation. But we are looking at the bright side. He works from home, doesn't need to be in the field teaching until 2/15/10 and has been in a really good work grove lately. For all of those reasons we believe that we will be just fine. His work may happen at 5 am or 10 pm, depending on when the new baby routine allows him to focus, but we'll get it all done.
The "bonding" will still happen because of our situation and that is all that matters. The principle pisses me off - but no point in carrying around that negativity - it doesn't help anyone.
However, he decided to call his HR contact to confirm exactly how much his paycheck would be hit and how benefits, etc would be effected. Thank GOD he did.
The "paid family leave" is covered by Prudential (like disability insurance) and not through the company directly. Prudential will only offer coverage for family leave in states where there is a legal requirement - and despite the fact that Morgan WORKS for a California company, because we live in North Carolina where there is no legal paternity leave requirement there is no coverage.
Therefore he does not get any time off surrounding the birth of our child. He can maybe take unpaid or sick days while I am in the hospital but that is it.
Okay. Obviously this is a bullshit situation. But we are looking at the bright side. He works from home, doesn't need to be in the field teaching until 2/15/10 and has been in a really good work grove lately. For all of those reasons we believe that we will be just fine. His work may happen at 5 am or 10 pm, depending on when the new baby routine allows him to focus, but we'll get it all done.
The "bonding" will still happen because of our situation and that is all that matters. The principle pisses me off - but no point in carrying around that negativity - it doesn't help anyone.
Still Waiting ...
At long last I think I might have let go of the obsessive urgency to go into labor.
I have a bad cold and don't feel well ~ although for this weekend my complaints are not pregnancy related but good old fashioned cold related. Being pregnant doesn't seem to be that bad in comparison to my new symptoms AND more importantly I really want to get well before I go into labor. If I go into labor before I get well there is not much I can do about it and I just have to trust that we will make it through. However, got willing a couple more days will do the trick.
Morgan has been amazing, and while I feel terribly guilty about being a bit needy and under the weather he has taken care of my every need - including talking to the doctor today about what over the counter meds I can use for relief, running to the drug store, making a steady supply of hot tea and any other thing I could possibly want.
My mind is also totally GONE. I could not even remember who won a football game I watched yesterday this morning.
I have a bad cold and don't feel well ~ although for this weekend my complaints are not pregnancy related but good old fashioned cold related. Being pregnant doesn't seem to be that bad in comparison to my new symptoms AND more importantly I really want to get well before I go into labor. If I go into labor before I get well there is not much I can do about it and I just have to trust that we will make it through. However, got willing a couple more days will do the trick.
Morgan has been amazing, and while I feel terribly guilty about being a bit needy and under the weather he has taken care of my every need - including talking to the doctor today about what over the counter meds I can use for relief, running to the drug store, making a steady supply of hot tea and any other thing I could possibly want.
My mind is also totally GONE. I could not even remember who won a football game I watched yesterday this morning.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The final countdown! It's driving me INSANE.
Okay, really, 7 more days? I don't know if I can stand it. I keep reminding myself it is good for the baby to stay in until term - - - best for the baby, best for the baby, best for the baby. We just want to meet the baby!
We have packed, repacked, added items, and packed again.
Every time I sigh, grown or make another noise when standing or moving around Morgan jumps into position, stopwatch in hand, in case labor has started. (There are a lot of noises along these lines once you hit 37 plus weeks - everything just hurts, I think) It is pretty much the cutest thing in the WORLD that he is so ready and attentive, but there seems to be a series of letdown expressions when I have to confess that I am not in labor, just struggling to move that is breaking my heart!
That being said I have had a couple of intense Braxton-Hicks contractions ... but, according to the exam yesterday, I continue to be effaced and soft, but not dilated. Following my appointment I went to get a massage and had all of my labor points worked like crazy with the hope that something would happen - but nothing yet. She did work a crazy point on my chin which is apparently aligned directly with my cervix which seemed very powerful.
I waddle, hurt and need food and sleep all the time. The cold air/central heat combo has created and intense sinus pressure that is causing a weird ear/nose/throat grossness that I hate. I've gained a whopping 17 pounds in pregnancy, all in the last 6 weeks, and I really feel it. And I have pretty much regressed into complaining a lot (as I am sure you can all tell). And I feel guilty about that.
Mainly I want to meet Thriller. What will he/she look like? Will he/she have the Vickery webbed toe? Will he/she sleep well? I want to know! I don't have the need to know the sex or even have a name - just to hold the baby and look into its eyes. It is all I want in the world at the moment.
We have packed, repacked, added items, and packed again.
Every time I sigh, grown or make another noise when standing or moving around Morgan jumps into position, stopwatch in hand, in case labor has started. (There are a lot of noises along these lines once you hit 37 plus weeks - everything just hurts, I think) It is pretty much the cutest thing in the WORLD that he is so ready and attentive, but there seems to be a series of letdown expressions when I have to confess that I am not in labor, just struggling to move that is breaking my heart!
That being said I have had a couple of intense Braxton-Hicks contractions ... but, according to the exam yesterday, I continue to be effaced and soft, but not dilated. Following my appointment I went to get a massage and had all of my labor points worked like crazy with the hope that something would happen - but nothing yet. She did work a crazy point on my chin which is apparently aligned directly with my cervix which seemed very powerful.
I waddle, hurt and need food and sleep all the time. The cold air/central heat combo has created and intense sinus pressure that is causing a weird ear/nose/throat grossness that I hate. I've gained a whopping 17 pounds in pregnancy, all in the last 6 weeks, and I really feel it. And I have pretty much regressed into complaining a lot (as I am sure you can all tell). And I feel guilty about that.
Mainly I want to meet Thriller. What will he/she look like? Will he/she have the Vickery webbed toe? Will he/she sleep well? I want to know! I don't have the need to know the sex or even have a name - just to hold the baby and look into its eyes. It is all I want in the world at the moment.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Bradley Class 10
This was an awesome class! We reviewed the second stage of labor and had an experienced doula come and show us tricks for massage and how to use a REBOZO - which I think is going to be a MAJOR BONUS in labor. The rebozo is a Birthing Shawl/Sling/Burial Cloth for women to use from Mexico. In labor it is wrapped around the mom like a hammock and she can lean into it, taking the weight off of her and let her coach/husband/doula rock her hips back and forth. It can also be wrapped around the belly and head for other relief. The doula used me (and my big Thriller belly) to demonstrate how to use the rebozo and then we all practiced with twin sheets - as we might not all be able to order the rebozos from Mexico. Morgan's immediate thought was, of course, that we needed to find an authentic store that carries various cultural trinkets like the rebozo in town and buy our own handmade shawl from Mexico to cherish and use in the future (would also be a good sling as I don't have one yet). This attitude is hands down one of the things I love the most about my husband. Unfortunately we have yet to identify such a store and will likely be using the twin sheet at the hospital which will work just fine.
We also practiced on the birthing ball, used rice socks and tennis balls for counter pressure and learned various massage techniques. Morgan learned lots and I am sure will remember it all.
We had a couple join us who are about to have their second child and were just popping in for a refresher on Bradley and they were great to meet and hear positive stories from. She was induced with pitocin but did not use any drugs and said it really wasn't that bad - but she didn't have anything to compare it too. Great attitude.
All and all a wonderful and practical class with lots of good tips on what we need to do! I had a contraction in the middle of the class and am not sure that I am going to make it to next week - Thriller could be joining us anytime now. Come on Thriller!
We also practiced on the birthing ball, used rice socks and tennis balls for counter pressure and learned various massage techniques. Morgan learned lots and I am sure will remember it all.
We had a couple join us who are about to have their second child and were just popping in for a refresher on Bradley and they were great to meet and hear positive stories from. She was induced with pitocin but did not use any drugs and said it really wasn't that bad - but she didn't have anything to compare it too. Great attitude.
All and all a wonderful and practical class with lots of good tips on what we need to do! I had a contraction in the middle of the class and am not sure that I am going to make it to next week - Thriller could be joining us anytime now. Come on Thriller!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Doctor Doctor!
Yesterday morning I woke up with a cramping sensation at the top of my ribcage and got a little excited and confused, as I expected such a sensation to happen much lower in my abdomen. When Morgan came home from a morning appointment we had to remind ourselves that if I was, in fact, showing signs of pre-labor that it could go on for weeks before anything major happened. Luckily we had an appointment with Triangle OBGYN at 1:50 so we knew we could get a clear answer.
The philosophy at Triangle is not to start checking you via vaginal exams until 39 weeks (unlike some doctors who start checking you weekly at 36 weeks). I agree wholeheartedly with this standard of care and having as few vaginal exams as possible for many reasons. However, yesterday due to my cramping the Dr. Grana did check me and I have to admit that I liked the feedback of knowing where I am in the process. She was very gentle and I did not feel like I was at any risk of ruptured membranes, etc which helped too. (I was actually expecting the exam to be much more uncomfortable than it was - but I think that it was a woman, Morgan was there and more importantly that we have been doing the perineal massage helped!)
Anyway, drum roll please, I am not dilated at all but my cervix is thinning and the baby is starting move move down in station. These are the perfect signs for 38 weeks! On one hand I have been anxiously expecting to have the baby a little early as so many of my first time mom friends have had that experience in the past year or so - but on the other hand I know that it is best for Thriller to stay inside me until he/she reaches term.
This is all well and good as my mother is snowed in and there is no way she could be here for the next week - which would be very sad! Maybe in addition to being warm inside Thriller knows he/she needs to wait for the artic storm to pass throguh the south so he/she can meet Grandmama.
Next week I'll be getting a massage that hits on some inducement points and I have started taking Evening Primrose on the advice of one of our midwifes to help make sure I don't go over term. Triangle will let me go 10 days (maybe a couple more) over 40 weeks - but I really hope we don't have to get to that point. (a) Thriller will be massive as he/she keeps gaining about a pound a week and (b) induction/intervention is definitely not in line with natural birthing.
In other Thriller news - there has been a lot of movement! The baby was all on my left side, head down, rear up (just the way they need to be!) but on Monday night he/she flipped over - so now they are still head down, rear up, but cradled on my right side. Thriller is so big that I could see this drastic movement (not to mention FEEL) through several layers of clothes and Morgan's XXL Carhartt hoodie (which is my current clothing option of preference). Crazy. Yesterday we went for a walk around Lake Johnson after the doctor's appt and I experienced 2 Braxton-Hicks contractions from the walk - they were about 14 minutes apart - so my body is getting ready! Hooray!
The philosophy at Triangle is not to start checking you via vaginal exams until 39 weeks (unlike some doctors who start checking you weekly at 36 weeks). I agree wholeheartedly with this standard of care and having as few vaginal exams as possible for many reasons. However, yesterday due to my cramping the Dr. Grana did check me and I have to admit that I liked the feedback of knowing where I am in the process. She was very gentle and I did not feel like I was at any risk of ruptured membranes, etc which helped too. (I was actually expecting the exam to be much more uncomfortable than it was - but I think that it was a woman, Morgan was there and more importantly that we have been doing the perineal massage helped!)
Anyway, drum roll please, I am not dilated at all but my cervix is thinning and the baby is starting move move down in station. These are the perfect signs for 38 weeks! On one hand I have been anxiously expecting to have the baby a little early as so many of my first time mom friends have had that experience in the past year or so - but on the other hand I know that it is best for Thriller to stay inside me until he/she reaches term.
This is all well and good as my mother is snowed in and there is no way she could be here for the next week - which would be very sad! Maybe in addition to being warm inside Thriller knows he/she needs to wait for the artic storm to pass throguh the south so he/she can meet Grandmama.
Next week I'll be getting a massage that hits on some inducement points and I have started taking Evening Primrose on the advice of one of our midwifes to help make sure I don't go over term. Triangle will let me go 10 days (maybe a couple more) over 40 weeks - but I really hope we don't have to get to that point. (a) Thriller will be massive as he/she keeps gaining about a pound a week and (b) induction/intervention is definitely not in line with natural birthing.
In other Thriller news - there has been a lot of movement! The baby was all on my left side, head down, rear up (just the way they need to be!) but on Monday night he/she flipped over - so now they are still head down, rear up, but cradled on my right side. Thriller is so big that I could see this drastic movement (not to mention FEEL) through several layers of clothes and Morgan's XXL Carhartt hoodie (which is my current clothing option of preference). Crazy. Yesterday we went for a walk around Lake Johnson after the doctor's appt and I experienced 2 Braxton-Hicks contractions from the walk - they were about 14 minutes apart - so my body is getting ready! Hooray!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Human Kidness
When Morgan and I moved to California I remember that I was very frustrated by the fact that people would not look at you when you passed them on the street or sat by them on the bus in San Francisco. There was a sudden cultural element of being on your own that caught me off guard. As we developed amazing friendships in California a network of support grew that helped me move past feeling alone and we continue to be supported by that network today - even from afar. We are very blessed.
Moving back to the southeast and being pregnant has, however, reacquainted me with not only the kindness of family and friends, but also that of strangers. I know I am 9 months pregnant so people are just being more helpful at the grocery store, etc - but really, I am feeling very blessed. Family has spent countless hours and resources helping us move in and sharing resources to make our home, friends have traveled from far and wide to come and visit, we have nearly everything we need from gifts to be ready for the baby ... the list goes on!
Most notably I have been taken in by a local prenatal massage therapist. I went to her before the holidays for what would be my one budgeted massage and she felt like i was in such bad shape that she insisted that I come back yesterday, free of charge, because she would worry about me. I cannot in any way shape or form afford to continue this tradition, but she keeps insisting that I come back so I am scheduled for next week and she had offered to help us in labor if we need it (if the baby is OP we'll be taking her up on that for sure!) I am just blown away by her compassion and really very grateful as I was, in fact, suffering and her support is making a tremendous difference.
I like to think of myself as a good person, but I do think that city living made me a little self interested. I am currently feeling so blessed - it honestly makes me want to be a better person - and more importantly show Thriller how to be a better person early on.
Thank you family, friends and strangers for bringing such kindness back into focus in our lives!
Moving back to the southeast and being pregnant has, however, reacquainted me with not only the kindness of family and friends, but also that of strangers. I know I am 9 months pregnant so people are just being more helpful at the grocery store, etc - but really, I am feeling very blessed. Family has spent countless hours and resources helping us move in and sharing resources to make our home, friends have traveled from far and wide to come and visit, we have nearly everything we need from gifts to be ready for the baby ... the list goes on!
Most notably I have been taken in by a local prenatal massage therapist. I went to her before the holidays for what would be my one budgeted massage and she felt like i was in such bad shape that she insisted that I come back yesterday, free of charge, because she would worry about me. I cannot in any way shape or form afford to continue this tradition, but she keeps insisting that I come back so I am scheduled for next week and she had offered to help us in labor if we need it (if the baby is OP we'll be taking her up on that for sure!) I am just blown away by her compassion and really very grateful as I was, in fact, suffering and her support is making a tremendous difference.
I like to think of myself as a good person, but I do think that city living made me a little self interested. I am currently feeling so blessed - it honestly makes me want to be a better person - and more importantly show Thriller how to be a better person early on.
Thank you family, friends and strangers for bringing such kindness back into focus in our lives!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Bradley Classes 8 & 9
Monday night touched on some very interesting topics concerning the postpartum experience as well as providing advanced review of the first phase of labor.
I was not thrilled to learn that the bleeding after a vaginal birth can last for up to 6 weeks - it just caught me totally off guard. Additionally, we learned about the blood clots - apparently if they come out of me at the size of a plum or smaller it is cool, but larger than a lemon need to call the doctor. My question is what kind of plum or lemon are we talking about here? There are many lemons that are equal in size to plumbs ... right? We saw some pictures of the clots and it freaked me out a bit - but I do feel much better prepared having had the experience and class.
(Moreover, I am not totally stoked on the reintroduction of Maxi Pads into my life. It has been a long, long time. Ladies, I know you understand.)
The most important postpartum lesson we learned was not to over do it in the weeks following the birth. I know that is going to be a challenge for me as I always have so much that I want to do, and apparently I have a type A personality where I like things done my way (who knew?) - my friend Lindsay just had a baby and she advised that she pushed it a little too hard at first and really had to step back. Hopefully I can take this advice and take care of myself and Thriller. I know we will have help from our family in the first few days, and I am honestly the most excited about having Phil (my brother in law) around to help because he will come to the table with nothing other than the intention of trying to make things easy and happy with us and no preconceived notions on how we should be doing things. Its funny how that works out, I want him to come like the minute I start having contractions which I never honestly would have thought was what I wanted. We are working out a list of other things we will need help with to share with our moms when the time is right and Morgan's Uncle Ken and Aunt Mary Lou, who are local, are primed and ready to be on call as needed, as well as our dear friends Chrissie and Graham who actually have way more baby experience than we do as they have nieces and nephews. Not to mention countless remote support systems of friends and most notably Morgan's Aunt Carol who knows all things baby and has already been an amazing resource and advocate for us. We are pretty lucky I believe.
All I have to do is let go and let all these people help us. Say a little prayer to help me get there :)
Review of the first phase of labor was awesome because Morgan missed the introduction in class 5. I think we are totally ready. I'm a little spent from the holidays and having company, etc - and have a bit of a list to get through. So, in a perfect world I'd like Thriller to give me about another week to get ready and rested. Will see :)
Before the holidays we had a realistic and disturbing Bradley Class 8 - we learned about the c-section. I don't want one, but if I need it what can you do? I was, however, disturbed by the video of a live c-section and to learn that they take your uterus OUT of your body and clean it and then reinsert it after the baby is born. AH! Hopefully we won't have to cross that bridge, although I am reassured to know that my OB is an old Deadhead, so IF we have to go into the OR at least we might be able to have some good tunes to keep us mellow.
I was not thrilled to learn that the bleeding after a vaginal birth can last for up to 6 weeks - it just caught me totally off guard. Additionally, we learned about the blood clots - apparently if they come out of me at the size of a plum or smaller it is cool, but larger than a lemon need to call the doctor. My question is what kind of plum or lemon are we talking about here? There are many lemons that are equal in size to plumbs ... right? We saw some pictures of the clots and it freaked me out a bit - but I do feel much better prepared having had the experience and class.
(Moreover, I am not totally stoked on the reintroduction of Maxi Pads into my life. It has been a long, long time. Ladies, I know you understand.)
The most important postpartum lesson we learned was not to over do it in the weeks following the birth. I know that is going to be a challenge for me as I always have so much that I want to do, and apparently I have a type A personality where I like things done my way (who knew?) - my friend Lindsay just had a baby and she advised that she pushed it a little too hard at first and really had to step back. Hopefully I can take this advice and take care of myself and Thriller. I know we will have help from our family in the first few days, and I am honestly the most excited about having Phil (my brother in law) around to help because he will come to the table with nothing other than the intention of trying to make things easy and happy with us and no preconceived notions on how we should be doing things. Its funny how that works out, I want him to come like the minute I start having contractions which I never honestly would have thought was what I wanted. We are working out a list of other things we will need help with to share with our moms when the time is right and Morgan's Uncle Ken and Aunt Mary Lou, who are local, are primed and ready to be on call as needed, as well as our dear friends Chrissie and Graham who actually have way more baby experience than we do as they have nieces and nephews. Not to mention countless remote support systems of friends and most notably Morgan's Aunt Carol who knows all things baby and has already been an amazing resource and advocate for us. We are pretty lucky I believe.
All I have to do is let go and let all these people help us. Say a little prayer to help me get there :)
Review of the first phase of labor was awesome because Morgan missed the introduction in class 5. I think we are totally ready. I'm a little spent from the holidays and having company, etc - and have a bit of a list to get through. So, in a perfect world I'd like Thriller to give me about another week to get ready and rested. Will see :)
Before the holidays we had a realistic and disturbing Bradley Class 8 - we learned about the c-section. I don't want one, but if I need it what can you do? I was, however, disturbed by the video of a live c-section and to learn that they take your uterus OUT of your body and clean it and then reinsert it after the baby is born. AH! Hopefully we won't have to cross that bridge, although I am reassured to know that my OB is an old Deadhead, so IF we have to go into the OR at least we might be able to have some good tunes to keep us mellow.
Friday, January 1, 2010
New Years Eve 2009
Last night we celebrated the end of a very positive and change filled 2009 and rang in 2010 in downtown Raleigh with Chrissie and Graham. It was fabulous, complete with a yummy meal at the Raleigh Times (I had chocolate cake in lieu of cocktails), a great view from the Clarion hotel, the downtown "acorn drop" followed by spectacular fireworks and much more. It was awesome to see Raleigh put on such a fun celebration and so many people out and about to celebrate. Granted, I can't remember the last time I was sober on New Years Eve - it didn't really bother me at all. I still had a great time! Today, however, I am totally exhausted and have accomplished nothing productive.
Hopefully Thriller knows that when midnight hit we were celebrating 2010 as his/her year! Can't wait for something to happen in the next 3 weeks so we can finally meet Thriller!
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