As Morgan and I have prepared for having the baby it has been clear that the birthing process is very important to us. Along the way, however, we have crossed paths with many loved ones who are challenged by our interest in how we give birth to Little Thriller. The most common statement we have heard, from all generations, is that is does not matter how it happens as long as we have a healthy baby and a healthy mom when it is all said and done. How do you respond to this statement? To family members, best friends, new moms, etc who have generations of experience birthing babies and trusted completely in their doctors and hospitals?
It is a touchy subject, as we do not want to reject their wisdom and appreciate their concerns. When we respond with statistics, research and information we try to avoid making it sound judgmental. We do not want to have a natural birth just to be good liberals. We do not just want to be in a room decorated like a bedroom just to be more comfortable.
We want to have a natural birth in a positive environment because it is safer for the baby, safer for the mom and a more positive experience for the early development of the child. We want to be educated on the birthing process and not go into birth blindly because the medical industry is FAILING in the United States. For the past twenty (plus) years the infant mortality rate in the United States has ranked in the bottom three of all developed countries. We want to look at what other countries are doing RIGHT and use those procedures and tactics in our birth. We want information to protect ourselves and our child.
It never ceases to amaze me how many people who are clearly aware that hospitals, doctors, pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies and malpractice lawsuits have collectively made dirty business out of healthcare suddenly forget the fact that having a baby in the hospital is also a revenue generating procedure. Mothers across the country are given unnecessary drugs and procedures during childbirth to generate revenue and to protect liability. The benefit to the child? To the mother?
Plain and simple – just because there is a form of technology available does not make it necessary. It does, however, make good money for the hospital to use every available resource.
I know I do not want unnecessary invasive surgery ever … I do not want to be given unnecessary drugs ever … especially when I am going to have Thriller to take care of moments afterwards.
What I am sure of is that I have a right to choose medical care that I can trust. This is not an easy thing to do in this country. Laying down on your back and being pumped full of drugs is an incredibly ineffective way to deliver a baby. No other country in the world currently uses this positioning (which works against gravity and prevents the mother from optimal pelvic positioning) as the standard of care for delivery. We are WAY behind the times and our infant mortality rate and other statistics prove our inadequacy.
I do not mean to suggest that there are not high risk births when the fact that we have the technology and procedures to save lives is necessary and effective. Rather I believe, and research indicates, that invasive and dangerous tools are used as a matter of course rather than a matter of necessity. We want to be educated to know the difference. We want to work with someone we trust to know the difference.
Luckily some hospitals and doctors in the United States are also recognizing the failure of birthing in the United States and doing some of the same research. As we are searching for the best OB/GYN, licensed midwife and Birthing Center in the Raleigh area it is a challenge to find the doctors, midwives and facilities that can provide us with care we trust. In the back of my mind I keep thinking that we could escape the industry and go to Mendocino where we know a great midwife or to The Farm in Tennessee where the best Birthing Center in the country exists under the guidance of acclaimed midwife Ina May Gaskin. However, I cannot bring myself to do something so drastic as I fear it would worry and hurt our families.
The first step is to find a caregiver who is educated. Next to find a facility where I am not immobilized with cords and IVs hanging off of my body. Ideally we need to find a place where I can eat, move around, have control of the environment (lights, music, etc) and am given time to labor and not be rushed into inducement or cesarean simply because of impatience.
What I need is to listen and trust my body. I need a doctor/midwife team to do the same. I need to not be categorized into a procedural system, but rather I need to be given a chance to have my baby without drugs or intervention so I will have the shortest possible recovery time to be the best mother I can be right away.
The birthing process does matter to us. And we think it should.
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